Eastwick is a homey, New England-y place with tourists in stocks and mock witch-burning. It reminds me a lot of Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls, which is apparently because it's filmed on the same set. As we take in the homey New England atmosphere, a woman's voiceover asks us questions like "What if the gifted ones are still here among us?" In case you're interested, this is not from the book. It's just, you know, stuff. The gist is that women in Eastwick used to have magic powers. And maybe they still do! (Spoiler: yes, they do.)

And let's meet one of them now! Or anyway, her cleavage. This is "The Blonde One", although I'll just tell you now that her name is Roxie, and she snaps at someone for checking her out while he's supposed to be looking at the sculptures in her little stall. You know, if you don't want tourists staring at your boobs, you should either not wear something so low-cut or not have a stall devoted to selling things to tourists. Also, you should probably stop being Rebecca Romijn, because c'mon. Everyone's staring at those things. A young lady who is presumably her daughter sasses her about alienating the customers. And if you're a fan of hamfisted foreshadowing, you'll enjoy this conversation where the daughter (Mia) insists that her mother is not psychic, no matter how many dreams she's had that come true.

Then, as Roxie hides from a character named Homer Purley (whom she owes rent money for her store), a fifty-cent piece lands on the carpet next to her. It's weird that it made a tinkling noise. Oh, and that it fell from nowhere. That's also weird. Mia's worried about becoming a hobo, and Roxie encourages her to be more daring and sneak out of the house.

Now a new character enters the scene, and the stall, by hopping over a shelf. He makes out with Roxie while she asks him to show some discretion, and Mia slinks off to some guy who's waving to her. There are a lot of characters being introduced here. Roxie's man assures her that no one is looking, talking about them, or even caring.

Naturally, we immediately cut to somebody doing all three. It's a guy in a dirty flannel shirt, carrying a beer. And he calls Roxie a cradle-robbing slut, although it's not like Rebecca Romijn looks all that old. The point is to establish this guy (Raymond) as a jerk so we can feel sorry for his wife, The Redheaded One (Kat). Actually, Raymond has two cans of beer in one hand, drinking from one and keeping the other ready in case of emergency. One of their five children starts running around shouting "Slut! Slut! Slut", which would be a pretty funny audio track to add to a dance mix. Kat has a lot of ripe tomatoes, which frustrates Raymond for some reason. Just then! One of the kids regurgitates a mysterious fifty-cent piece. The ponderous voiceover pokes us to make sure we've got the idea that maybe some women in this very town might have magic powers.