Hey! It's Sara Rue! Too bad she's just the sidekick (Penny) to The Brunette One (Joanna), who rapidly exposits that the two of them work at the newspaper and that she (Joanna) does not stick up for herself at work. Also, she's mousy, which you can tell by the way has glasses and wears her hair in a bun. Anyway, their boss Clyde is a creep who brushes against their breasts at work and Joanna has a crush on Will the Photographer. She even named her vibrator after him, which is obviously the sort of thing you say immediately before you realize he's right behind you. And there he is! Joanna starts stammering and trying to get out of this awkward situation, but she only makes it more awkward by claiming that it's named after Will Ferrell. Oh, now I'm supposed to picture her, her vibrator, and Will Ferrell. That's awesome. I'm really glad that's happening. Penny finally tells her to stop talking and they leave. Joanna asks why she can't be a completely different person. And just then, a fifty-cent piece flies out of the air and hits her. It's like there's someone standing offscreen getting impatient at all this exposition. I support the cause of throwing things at these people. Joanna agrees to come over to Penny's house that night and drink wine.
The voiceover continues and we learn it's being done as part of a children's story-time thing in the middle of the town square. It's being done by "Aunt Bun", played by Veronica Cartwright, who was in the movie The Witches of Eastwick. And it says here she was on Leave it to Beaver and gave Beaver Cleaver his first kiss! So that's something. Roxie waves to her and then moves on to the fountain.
Roxie stands looking at the fountain, while Joanna and Penny watch. Penny snipes at Roxie, calling her "the merry widow" and objecting to "her so-called art" being sold around children. Said art, incidentally, looked pretty much like fertility idols, so you need some imagination to make them obscene. Roxie prepares to make a wish with her magic fifty-cent piece. Penny doesn't want to participate because making wishes is a waste of time, and thankfully Joanna cuts her off before she gets too far into it. Joanna will also be making a wish. Banjo music starts, because I guess banjo music is magical now. Kat also comes up to the fountain with a couple of kids (one of which stops shouting "Ice cream!" long enough to point at Roxie and shout "Sluuuuut!") and finally the music swells and they make their wishes and throw the coins. They throw them pretty high, I guess, because we see the coins hit about fifty feet in the air. If the coins hadn't hit each other, they definitely would have flown completely over the fountain. And since they've got the CGI machines already going, why not show a million ants crawling up Aunt Bun's legs? What the? Anyway, our first real shot of Roxie, Joanna, and Penny all together is as they look over at the shrieking Bun.