Eastwick

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Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
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And They're Off!

Joanna comes up to Penny babbling about Eleanor Rougemont, who started the Eastwick Historical Society with Bun and still lives in Eastwick. Penny isn't all that interested, preferring to sit on the park bench and eat her lunch. Joanna is not deterred, insisting that one of the women in the picture might be Eleanor (spoiler: It's Cybill Shepherd, so that's definitely her in the picture. Like I don't know what Young Cybill Shepherd looks like?) So maybe she knows something! Joanna insists that they can't just wait for Bun to wake up from her coma. Just then, in the hospital, Bun wakes up from her coma. Irony! Specifically, Dramatic Irony, and I can defend that with the dictionary definition of "Irony", so you can just keep your emails saying "You misused the word "irony" to yourselves.

It's time for HarvestFest! It's a raging party! Roxie eyeballs Gus, and he eyeballs her right back. Roxie's delighted to see Mia at the party, because it means Mia is rising above it. Mia tells her mother that she seemed happy with Chad. Kat shows up with an enormous pumpkin. Roxie admits that Jamie doesn't seem all that bad, and also that he's missing that scar. Kat I-told-you-sos, and calls Raymond an ass for not understanding that their impromptu sex was a perfectly normal way to end a marriage. Just then, Roxie sees Raymond and Darryl talking. Raymond's got his job back! He's in charge of wicks again! Raymond and Kat are back together! I think it's interesting that instead of a "When will they finally do it?" plot, we've got the much more rare "When will they finally divorce?" going on. Roxie finds Chad and tries to apologize, but he goes off with some chickie named "Melody".

Joanna and Penny are at a house in the woods. Penny expresses annoyance that she's not at HarvestFest, eating pie and getting drunk. There's a symbol burned into the wood, and it's the same thing that the Jamie in Roxie's psychic vision had. Eleanor is an old, suspicious version of Cybill Shepherd. She's got a fancy headdress and a sassy attitude, saying that Joanna and Penny remind her of squirrels she used to shoot. She's not that helpful when asked direct questions about Sebastian Hart, either: "Remember him? Honey, I was the one who killed him." Then she slams the door in their faces. Then she opens the door, holding a shotgun. Joanna tries her hypno-eyes again because she hasn't learned that it doesn't work on women. Or maybe Eleanor's a Toydarian. That would be neat. Anyway, Penny would like to go get drunk, and Joanna agrees. This show has a lot of drinking on it, doesn't it?

Back to HarvestFest! Gus is watching all the dancing from up on a platform that's strung with Christmas lights. If you stretch, you can imagine this being related to Roxie's candle (Christmas lights), rope (the lights are strung together), and ladder (that's how you get up on the platform) roll on the spirit dice. Roxie becomes enraged by the site of Melody grinding on Chad and tells him he can have a drawer. Melody stomps off in a snit, which she presumably picked up from Chad. Snits are contagious, you know. Proven medical fact. Roxie calls Chad her boyfriend.

Will comes up to Joanna and Penny, who have already gotten back to HArvestFest and started drinking. Will has gotten the band to do a rotten cover of "Like a Virgin" (because once you've paid enough to have the song in your show, you might as well use it as much as possible) and convinces Joanna to dance with him. Suddenly, Darryl cuts in and asks how her investigative journalism is going. Then he threatens her and tells her to let sleeping dogs lie. Man, make up your creepy mind, creepy guy. First you want her to investigate you, then you don't want her to investigate you. I know it's your job to drive the plot, but I'd like a bit of consistency here.

Jamie watches the dancing from his solitary room. Then he brands himself with an iron bar he'd been heating up in the fireplace. Weirdo. Anyway, he has the scar now.

Darryl (alone and inside, although he was outside and dancing with Joanna a minute ago) rolls the Spirit Dice. In case you're interested, I believe they're an eight-sider, a ten-sider, and a twelve-sider. He pets a dog.

Back at HarvestFest, The children of the town are doing their wretched performance. Gus winks at Roxie from his platform and then looks shocked that he gets glared at. When Kat, Joanna, and Roxie all glare at him, he steps backwards and then falls off the platform and strangles to death on the lights. Strung up in the middle of town square, see. There's applause, but it's probably for the kids, not the strangling.

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Eastwick

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