Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | 435 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
A Job Well Done

Molly and Carol are strutting down the street like a couple of Stuckeyville slut hounds, talking about the upcoming teacher evaluations. Carol's not looking forward to the evaluation, while Molly comes clean and admits that she's not even up for a visit with the principal. This bothers Carol, who Carol can't imagine what she's done to warrant a trip to the principal's office, unless you count the fact that she and Principal Jackass mix like motor oil and peanut butter. Molly's convinced that the new principal has the hots for Carol, which Carol quickly denies. Carol's convinced that he wants to discuss her teaching techniques and strategies. The subject turns to Ed's latest case, of which Molly hasn't been informed yet. Carol tells Molly who Ed's defending, and Molly can't believe it. She's shocked. She's beyond shocked -- she's flabbergasted. And a flabbergasted Molly is nothing to toy with, my friend.

Ed's sitting in his office when Molly storms in. "Ron Leveritt is scum!" she decrees. "It's not as catchy as 'hello,' but it gets your attention," Ed replies. Molly gives Ed the lowdown, including the fact that Ron forces his female employees to dress scantily and act like crack whores, flirting heavily with every man that comes in the store. This is something that Molly will not stand for, so she takes a seat. She then calls Ron a "suit pimp." Ed is just as flabbergasted as Molly, so he picks up the phone to inform Ron that he won't be taking the case after all. While he's waiting for the phone to be answered, he asks Molly whether she thought up "suit pimp" on the way over to his office, or whether it was a spur-of-the-moment slur. She grins sheepishly and admits it's something she thought of on the way over. He says it's a good slur, and nothing to be ashamed of. Ron apparently isn't in, so Ed is forced to leave a message with an employee for Ron to call him. Ed then slams the phone down in a defiant gesture that just screamed SOLIDARITY with Molly over this issue. Molly, sufficiently satisfied, informs Ed that he forgot to leave his phone number. Ed sighs and picks the phone back up. Molly looks like the cat that swallowed the canary. As well as a few too many pints of ice cream. And a couple of pounds of bacon straight out of the package. And I'm not talking about that new pre-cooked bacon shit, either.

Mike and Nancy are finishing up dinner when Mike offers Nancy an alternative dessert: some of his "sweet, sweet lovin'." I fight off wave after wave of nausea. He asks her if she'd like to be stimulated by the pleasures of intimacy, and she wants to know if he's been reading Playboy again. His mouth says no but his eyes say, "Yes! Yes! Oh, God, yes!" Mike informs Nancy that he has a secret ploy going: he wants to have another baby. Nancy, for lack of a better term, fucking goes off on Mike's ass. She can't believe this sonofabitch wants to have another baby. Nancy's barely able to deal with The Evil Baby Sarah and still keep up with her daily soaps; the house is a pigsty; the Evil Baby Sarah is a handful; and it's a full-time job when you've given birth to the Dark Lord's bastard child. Nancy then goes off the deep end and says fine, fine, they can have a baby. She starts getting naked and stripping Mike's clothes off him. Mike feels pretty stupid at this point, and says that he's not having a sarcastic baby. Nancy's sarcasm is in overdrive as she lies on the bed and starts jamming her fist into her groin. Oh, wait...the dog just sat on the remote and The Sexorcist is showing on Cinemax. My bad. I debate on recapping The Sexorcist instead of Ed, but the wife's home and if she walks in the bedroom and sees me whacking it to a porn actress wearing a devil's mask, it's a one-way ticket back to therapy for us.

Ed

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