Ed
A Job Well Done

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Uncle Bob: C | Grade It Now!
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A Job Well Done

The jury has returned. They find for the defendant, which in this week's episode would happen to be Ron. Ron's delighted and joyfully shakes Ed's hand. Ed looks like he just received an email from his employers demanding another demeaning ass shot.

Back at the alley, Ed and Carol are seated at the snack bar. "You don't look like a guy who just won a case," she says. "Ron goes unpunished," Ed says. Carol asks whether he's talked to Molly lately, and he says that he said something to Molly that he shouldn't have. Carol asks whether he called her a massive diseased cow with teats the size of soccer balls, and he says no. Phil struts up and says, "Like the bartender said to the two horses: why the long faces?" Then he cracks up hysterically at the insanely stupid joke. He asks them whether they're ready to be Stubbsified. This intrigues Carol and Ed, so they follow Phil to the pit of the bowling alley several miles below the earth's core. Phil tells the two to brace themselves, because what they're about to see is going to be shocking. He removes a fake wall and behind it are several knickknacks...and the missing Russian bowling ball. Phil goes to pick up the ball, and it's broken in half. Back upstairs among the lanes, Ed wants to know, if Phil knew it was downstairs all along, why he pretended to look for it all week. Just then, the ball comes rolling out into the ball return as Donnie sees it and acts like it's a miracle. "Consider yourselves...Stubbsified," Phil grins. Phil had to wait for an exact replica of the ball to be made and sent to the bowling alley, because as a bowling alley manager, he's in the business of creating dreams and illusions. "You wouldn't understand," he chuckles, putting his hands on either side of Ed's head. "Get your hands off my face," Ed says quietly. Man, he's a touchy bastard when he wants to be.

That evening, Ed's alone in the bowling alley, closing up shop, when Molly walks in. She has brought him something. Judging from the package, my guess is...it's a suit. Sure enough...it's a suit. She calls it her little pound of flesh. Ed apologizes for telling her to quit feeling sorry for herself, and she tells Ed to please not turn into a wuss now. Ed tries on the suit and it's way too big for him. Molly says she had no idea Ed was such a tiny man. Ed tells her not to worry -- he'll just have Ron take it in for him. This infuriates Molly, who tries to attack Ed. They wrestle up and down the lanes. Lots of blood is spilled, clumps of hair are everywhere, knees are finding new homes in opposite crotches...etc. The episode ends.

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Ed

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