Ed
A Job Well Done

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A Job Well Done

Mike comes home for a little lunch, and greets his hot-assed wife, Nancy. "Nooner?" he says. Nancy giggles and says no, it's 11:45. Mike transforms into the persona of a drunken frat boy and won't take no for an answer as he starts slobbering all over her in the kitchen. Nancy giggles even more and explains that two men from the church are up in their bedroom right now. Mike squeals and runs to get the video camera in hopes of catching the ménage à quatre on tape. Nancy explains that the men are boxing up clothes to take to the church, and Mike deflates like a flying condom in a high-school cafeteria. Nancy goes up to help the men as well as escape Mike's wandering paws. One of the guys is searching through Nancy's album collection and asks whether she has anything by The Knack. Nancy doesn't think so. I have their entire collection myself, and don't appreciate the writers trying to make the Knack seem like some kinda joke. The Knack are coming back, Jack! Just you wait and see, you sarcastic bastards! Anyway, one of the guys steps into the closet and starts boxing up Nancy's business suits; Nancy promptly stops him. Even though these clothes are going to charity to help clothe the needy, she doesn't wanna see some homeless woman parading around with a shopping cart full of bottles and cans wearing her smart double-breasted Donna Karem ensemble complete with matching handbag and pillbox hat. I mean...come on! Get real, Church Guy!

Molly and Carol are strutting down the street like a couple of Stuckeyville slut hounds, talking about the upcoming teacher evaluations. Carol's not looking forward to the evaluation, while Molly comes clean and admits that she's not even up for a visit with the principal. This bothers Carol, who Carol can't imagine what she's done to warrant a trip to the principal's office, unless you count the fact that she and Principal Jackass mix like motor oil and peanut butter. Molly's convinced that the new principal has the hots for Carol, which Carol quickly denies. Carol's convinced that he wants to discuss her teaching techniques and strategies. The subject turns to Ed's latest case, of which Molly hasn't been informed yet. Carol tells Molly who Ed's defending, and Molly can't believe it. She's shocked. She's beyond shocked -- she's flabbergasted. And a flabbergasted Molly is nothing to toy with, my friend.

Ed's sitting in his office when Molly storms in. "Ron Leveritt is scum!" she decrees. "It's not as catchy as 'hello,' but it gets your attention," Ed replies. Molly gives Ed the lowdown, including the fact that Ron forces his female employees to dress scantily and act like crack whores, flirting heavily with every man that comes in the store. This is something that Molly will not stand for, so she takes a seat. She then calls Ron a "suit pimp." Ed is just as flabbergasted as Molly, so he picks up the phone to inform Ron that he won't be taking the case after all. While he's waiting for the phone to be answered, he asks Molly whether she thought up "suit pimp" on the way over to his office, or whether it was a spur-of-the-moment slur. She grins sheepishly and admits it's something she thought of on the way over. He says it's a good slur, and nothing to be ashamed of. Ron apparently isn't in, so Ed is forced to leave a message with an employee for Ron to call him. Ed then slams the phone down in a defiant gesture that just screamed SOLIDARITY with Molly over this issue. Molly, sufficiently satisfied, informs Ed that he forgot to leave his phone number. Ed sighs and picks the phone back up. Molly looks like the cat that swallowed the canary. As well as a few too many pints of ice cream. And a couple of pounds of bacon straight out of the package. And I'm not talking about that new pre-cooked bacon shit, either.

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