Mike meets Nancy for dinner at what must be The Smiling Goat, because it's dark, dank, and reeks of stale beer and antique urinal cakes. Nancy asked how the quitting went, and Mike tells her, "I didn't do it." Nancy lets him know that if he's miserable, he should quit. That Nancy -- she should be a motivational speaker or something. Mike says that there was no last straw. Y'see, Mike had it planned that he would leave when Dr. Jerome gave him a last straw of humiliation, but he didn't say anything demeaning to Mike, which marks the first day in years that the old codger took it easy on the lunkhead. Ed pops in, and it's really hard to explain just what the hell he's doing. He's dressed like a retarded pimp and acting like Michael Jackson on 'ludes. Nancy says "oh, Lord" when she sees him, while Mike explains to Ed that he looks ridiculous. Ed tells him that's where he's wrong, adding, "my large-foreheaded friend." Where is it written that Ed Stevens can't be this guy? Mike says, "By 'this guy' -- you mean a third-rate gigolo?" Ed ignores the comment and announces that he's out birddogging the ladies, he's making a change, he's now the "Hat Guy" -- the "Danger Guy." Mike and Nancy are convinced that this has something to do with the fact that Carol won't invite Ed into her bedroom to play with her kitten. Ed swears it has nothing to do with Carol. It's the fact that life's too short, blah blah blah. He tells them, "Watch this." He jumps up from the table and asks a passing woman if she'd like to join him for a soothing cocktail. She says she's busy and he says, "Is that right?" momentarily shifting back into dork mode. Mike says, "Knock, Knock? Who's there? Mr. Reality. Ohhhhh, come on in, Mr. Reality." Nancy giggles at her hot, non-Latin lover's witty sense of humor. Ed informs the both of them that the Hat Guy knows he just needs one "yes." He then informs the two of them that he's never had a one-night stand. Nancy says it's so not like Ed to want a one-night stand. Ed ignores her and decides to hit on another barfly. He saunters up to a hot Bonnie Hane lookalike and asks, "Hi there. Can I buy you a drink?" Nancy says she doesn't want to watch...not while she's sober. I guess if she were drunk, this would be better than Survivor. The barfly sizes Ed up and says, "Let's dance." Ed looks like a schoolboy with keys to the snack shack. Mike and Nancy watch them dance...which is not so much dancing as it is a barfly sending off physical mating calls while Ed displays his complete and utter lack of rhythm. She says, "It's like watching a really cute puppy trying to have sex with a hooker." Mike just asks, "I don't have a big forehead, do I?" Nancy tells him no. But the mirrors don't lie, Forehead Guy.
Episode Report CardUncle Bob: A- | 303 USERS: C+
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