In the bowling alley, Phil is sitting in a booth with two ladies and telling them to watch the cards he has fanned out in front of them. He asks them to pick a card and hold it up where he won't see it, and tells them he will be able to tell them which card it is. He then goes into a meditative holistic Tai Chi vegetarian trance. He gets a goofy look on his face and says, "Meeeeeep" to add to the illusion. Kenny's looking through some binoculars at their card, then gets on the PA System and announces, "Mr. Diamond...Lane 8 is now open." Phil guesses the eight of diamonds, and he's right. He asks whether the ladies would like to grab some dinner, but one of the girls wants to see the trick again. So Phil does it again, and once again, Kenny gets on the PA system: "Mr. Heart...Lane King is ready." Phil notices that they are really turned on by his magical powers, and suggests that they get it on. The girls have figured out the trick, and leave instead. Is it just me, or is every single woman in Stuckeyville a hottie? With the exception of that girl Donna that Warren has a crush on, very few women show up in Stuckeyville for whom I wouldn't wear a thong in bed.
Since Molly can't find that darned priceless Ming vase she's been looking for, she decides to come to the alley and hunt it down and possibly run into Jim, the guy who likes to polish his balls. Ed tells her that he invited Jim to the party, and Molly freaks out. "Have you lost your ever-loving bowling-alley lawyer mind?" she practically screams, but doesn't hit him, which is good for Ed. She wants to know what Jim said. Ed shouldn't have done this, and now Molly's life's a living hell. Ed tells Molly that Jim might come, and Molly tells Ed that through her years of being repeatedly stood up, she knows that "might come" means "won't come." Unless, of course, we're talking about sex. Then "might come" means "will come...all over your stomach!" They both share a good laugh at that and then turn to the camera and remind the kids at home watching that if they're going to have premarital sex they should use a condom and good common sense.









Comments