At the faculty party, Molly's asking Carol whether she told Ed about Drunk-Ass. Carol says she didn't, because Ed was too depressed over ruining Christmas for the entire town of Stuckeyville. Molly says that would have been the best time, because the best time to hear depressing news is when you're already depressed. This is true, because one time when I was young, an episode of The Brady Bunch was postponed due to a State of the Union address from President Nixon. I was pretty upset with that fact, so Dad leaped at the opportunity to tell me that Mom had crashed into a Humane Shelter van full of puppies and kittens and was killed in the fiery pandemonium that followed. And you know what? It softened the blow immensely. In fact, I had forgotten all about Mom by the time The Partridge Family started. Anyway, Mr. Bronkowski walks up to the two teachers and starts blathering away about some stupid globe his students gave him for Christmas. This guy has no idea that if he really wanted to get in Molly's or Carol's pants, he'd either treat them like dog shit on the bottom of his shoe or get a job as a traveling bowling paraphernalia salesman. Mortal fool! Drunk-Ass stumbles over and bleats that he needs to know the history of kissing from Bronkowski. With visions of a mini-orgy in his head, Bronkowski says that kissing came from when mothers had to chew their baby's food and spit it into their mouths. It was a sign of love and it still rings true today that nothing's more romantic than a wad of chewed-up pork tenderloin being passed from gullet to gullet. Drunk-Ass grins lecherously at Carol, who does that whole "hiding behind her hair" thing as he walks away.
Mr. LeMere shows up at the Stuckey Bowl and asks Ed to come outside. He has gone out and purchased the biggest Winnebago ever made. It's Missouri on wheels. They go inside the thing, and LeMere sits in the driver's seat, telling Ed that he always wanted to sit in a seat and pretend he was Captain Kirk. He then barks, "Warp speed, Mr. Spock!" I have proudly never seen a single episode of Star Trek, so I cannot fully comprehend what's going on here, but it sounds like an invitation to a little gay sex. LeMere points out that he actually has a TV in his car, and wants Ed to check out the water pressure in the shower, which solidifies it...Ed's not leaving this Winnebago with his anal pride intact. Ed stops the tour and tells LeMere that he can't keep the Winnebago because the money that was given to him to buy it should have gone to charity. LeMere can't believe what's happening as Ed explains that if he keeps the Winnebago, the Prescott Foundation will have to close its doors, and poor people will really hate him. Ed assures LeMere that he'll sleep better at night if he takes the Winnebago back, and LeMere cheerfully replies, "I already sleep great! There's a white noise machine in the bedroom!" Ed tells LeMere that if he doesn't return the Winnebago, Ed will be forced to take him to court. Ed then wishes LeMere a happy and safe holiday season, and exits the Winnebago. LeMere looks more confused and bewildered than your average Victoria's Secret model.