Shirley's in charge of doing caricatures and is presently drawing Mike. Mike and Nancy kiss and make up while he's being drawn. Nancy says that they will be the perfect role models for the Evil Baby Sara. Meanwhile, a quick flash over to the Burton home finds Evil Baby Sara sitting on Carmella's lap, eating fried mozzarella sticks and watching Happy Days as Carmella hoots over how much she loves the Fonzie Man. You know...there's nothing worse than having a nanny eating fried cheese sticks on your new sofa and squealing over the predicaments of a fictional character from a twenty-five-year-old television show. Unless that nanny is naked on your couch and spreading burrito residue all over your cushions.
Ed's moping in his office over the dismal outpouring of cash and sympathy when Prescott and Kapler walk in. Kapler asks Ed how the fundraiser is going, and Ed confesses that it's not going well and that they shouldn't expect a full-bagger. Prescott tells Ed that he's looking at a man who has spent his lifetime helping the needy. He points out that his watch cost $1,800, and that the people at the party know what they can give, and will give it. He reminds Ed not to try and pull teeth, and then excuses himself to go get a rum and Coke. Ed looks at Kapler and says that Prescott is quite a man.
Prescott's little pep talk inspires Ed to take the microphone once again and give this fundraising thing the old college try one more time. He says that when he asked everyone to donate earlier, he was thinking in the back of his mind that they could donate everything they had. That was wrong. Charity isn't logic. He apologizes for trying to push people to give until it hurts, because it's not supposed to hurt. They're all there because the Prescott Foundation is about to bite the big one if they don't come up with a hundred grand because Prescott is delirious with age and bought some geek a Winnebago, blowing every penny the Foundation had. Meanwhile, the aforementioned geek is tooling around Stuckeyville in a vehicle so big that bin Laden is hiding in one of the closets and will probably never be found. So everyone needs to trust their heart and give what they can. He then reiterates that they need $100,000, just in case anyone didn't hear it the first 1,204 times.
We then get our musical montage of the week featuring Darlene Love's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)." This was by far the most hilarious musical montage ever with enough sight gags to fuel the entire Marx Brothers catalogue. First, Shirley unveils her caricature of Mike, which, of course, is all forehead. Then we see the booth to "Punch Kenny for $10," where men are lined up to punch Kenny in the gut. Kenny doesn't even flinch. We then see Nancy on the mechanical bull, which single-handedly breaks my zipper. That's followed by Phil holding a cockfighting match with two lethargic roosters just walking around. Then it's Mike's turn on the bull, followed by the "Kiss Shirley Pifko for $10" booth; we see men walking up to Shirley, handing her a ten spot, and then kissing her on her mouth. She's not even pursing her lips for the kissing, just sitting there stone-faced. We then see Ed on the bull, before moving on to Phil, who has created a "Do It With Phil Stubbs for $10" booth; he's laid out on a sofa in his silk pajamas, without a single person lined up to have sex with him. There's a "Get Your Photo Taken With a Guy Who Looks A Little Like Art Garfunkel for $10" booth with a guy who looks more like Larry from The Three Stooges than Art Garfunkel. Phil's slowly painting the red part of one of those fundraising thermometers that will let people know when they hit their goal of $100,000. He's getting close to $70,000. Someone bowls a ball down the alley, which smashes into a stack of beer bottles for $10. Phil gets on the bull and is immediately thrown off after everyone else lasted for quite a while. Phil's then shown painting the thermometer all the way to the $100,000 mark.