Charity Cases

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: A | 1 USERS: A+
'Tis The Season To Be Clinically Insane

Commercials. Have you seen these new commercials for these buttwipes? It's like wet toilet paper for those people who have chronic diarrhea. They come in big sheets and apparently make your butt feel like a million bucks after you've managed to polish off several burritos and half a case of beer. Have you seen these? Know where I can get some?

Back to the show. Carol and Drunk-Ass are lying in bed together after playing "Would You Like Some Cheese On That Hot Dog -- The Home Game." Carol says that this has been a bit new for her. Drunk-Ass asks whether she means having sex and not being paid immediately afterwards. She says no, she's just never slept with her boss before. Her brain is screaming, "No! Not Drunk-Ass! You can't sleep with him! You don't have change for a fifty!" But she's decided that getting sloppy in the sheets with the guy may be worth the risk. He just grins. An ominous grin. The kind of grin that says, "You are one gullible whore, Carol Vessey."

In court, Ed's talking to Bruce Kapler, who you might remember from earlier in the recap as the guy who's in charge of the Prescott Foundation, and who almost crapped his spleen out when he heard Prescott has bankrupted the Foundation. LeMere and his lawyer walk in, and Ed's disappointed because he was hoping they wouldn't show. He was hoping they'd forget all about the court case. A side note: if my lawyer stood there and announced he had hoped that the opposite party had forgotten about the court hearing, I think it would dawn on me that maybe it was time I got a new lawyer with a better game plan than hoping people would just forget about little things like getting sued. The judge calls everyone to order and says he doesn't really see a case here. Ed hops up and says that the Prescott Foundation does a lot of good for Stuckeyville, and that if LeMere keeps the Winnebago, the Foundation will go out of business. Ed knows the Winnebago was a gift, and there's no law that can force him to give it back. Still, Ed hopes that LeMere sees the errors of his ways and coughs up the keys to this gas guzzler from Hell so that little children can have new shoes and Gamecubes for Christmas. LeMere's lawyer gets up and says the Winnebago was a gift, and there's no law that can force him to give it back. The judge agrees, and finds for LeMere. Ed winces, since he had a feeling he would lose this case simply because there was no case. Leaving the courtroom, Ed gets into some morality issues with the defendant's lawyer over his wristwatch. The lawyer tells Ed that if he truly cared about charities, he would not be wearing a $150 wristwatch when a $50 one would tell time just as well. He then goes down the list of all the extravagant items Ed possesses that could be sold for a pretty penny, with all proceeds going to the Prescott Foundation. Ed gets the picture. Or at least he acts like he does so that this guy will stop making him feel like crap. The lawyer calls Ed a hypocrite and says there's no difference between Ed and Tommy LeMere. I don't believe Ed has ever been dressed down like this in the history of this fine show. And if he had, I think I woulda remembered and giggled hysterically over it.

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