Back in court, Mama Loser's getting grilled as to why she's such a horrible mother. She's asked whether Wally has any friends in school, and she answers that he's shy. Is he happy? He's regular. Has he ever come home with the words "Total Loser" scrawled across his shirt? Well...only once, which...c'mon, how many kids haven't come home with slurs written all over them? Is he a loner who comes home from school, goes to his room, pulls the shades, and plays videogames until dawn? Houston, we have a winner! The lawyer asks Mama whether she's ever had the kid psychologically tested, and Mama says she hasn't because there's nothing troubling the kid. The lawyer shouts that her boy is a loser, and that if they're such good parents, why can't they figure out why he ran away? The judge is screaming, "Order in the court!" Al Pacino runs in and tells everyone that they're out of order, he's out of order, the whole f'n judicial system is out of order. Charlton Heston parts the Red Sea and E.T. phones home and the scene ends. In that order.
In the library, Warren asks Diane if she called him in here to see if Dewey invented a brand-new funky-assed Decimal system. Apparently, Diane had her funny bone removed several years earlier, because she sits there stone-faced like a smack addict. Diane has gone to the trouble of pulling fifty years' worth of Stuckeyville High yearbooks and putting Post-It notes on each page with a Homecoming King's photo on it. She tells Warren to take a look at any of them. Warren sees one from the 1970s with a turned-up collar and wishes they'd bring that look back. He looks at a few more and keeps seeing the same thing...studs. Fifty years of studs. Sounds like Uncle Bob's family reunion. Amazingly, through Diane's extensive research, it is determined that never in the history of Stuckeyville High has a dweeb like Warren been crowned Homecoming King. Warren wants to know what she's getting at, and Diane begs him not to make her say it. Basically, the meek will inherit Stuckeyville in fifteen years or so, when Fozzkat will have a beer gut and all the studious dweebs will have nice jobs and nice homes. Just. Not. Now. Warren explodes as quietly as possible, being in a library and all, and tells Diane that his dad was a nerd and God bless him...he's still a nerd, but Warren's going to break the mold and become a Homecoming King. He tells Diane to hold on because they're going to have a rocking year.