In the alley, kids are all gathered in a big group in anticipation of meeting the one and only Dr. Crazy. A man asks Ed what he's supposed to be; Ed announces that he's supposed to be Alex Trebek. The man points out that Alex recently shaved his mustache while Ed still maintains a gray, bushy, engorged-caterpillar-like fuzz magnet slinking across his upper lip. Ed looks devastated that his costume is so out of style. After Bob the assistant whips the kids into a salivating frenzy, Dr. Crazy bounds out to meet the guests and do his schtick. "Oh boy! Am I thirsty!" Dr. Crazy says, as he drinks one of his many potions. The kids laugh at him as he drinks some kinda nasty-assed chemical sludge, and then says his trademark line: "I'm Dr. Crazy!" before mumbling, "And what a picnic this is." Dr. Crazy is quite possibly the most deranged and depressed doctor ever shown on television unless you count Dr. Jeffrey Dahmer.
After the fun-filled Crazy appearance, Ed and Crazy are talking. Crazy's telling Ed that the stuff won't stain his floor. Ed tells him he has to get Crazy's check, and Crazy says, "Oh yeah." Ed asks if Crazy's okay, and Crazy assures Ed that he's on top of the world. A young boy dressed as Dr. Crazy comes up to Crazy and asks him for an autograph. The boy's name is Wally and he thinks Crazy is awesome. Crazy tells Wally that he's not awesome -- he sucks; he asks the kid whether he knows what "abyss" means. The kid doesn't, and Crazy tells him that it's an immeasurably deep chasm, depth, or void. The kid's still about as clueless as Mariah Carey watching a Disney flick, so Crazy tells the kid to look it up. The kid then starts babbling that he's just started at a new school and the other kids think he's a loser and they fill his underwear with hot tar and give him wedgies and his parents don't understand him and blah blah blah fishcakes. Crazy tells Wally that life doesn't get any better, and that the biggest favor the kid can ever do for himself is to hightail it out of Stuckeyville on the next bus out of town because once you're labeled a loser, that's gonna stick. Wally absorbs Crazy's advice like a sponge and walks away slowly, obviously not understanding the meaning of the word "hightail." Ed walks up; Crazy shrugs and says, "He wanted my autograph." Ed smells something fishy and yet...Molly's nowhere to be found.
Commercials. Did you know that there's a canned soup out there for the hoity-toity folk? Sure is, and it's called "Progresso." You still eat that Campbell's Chicken and Stars shit?! What's up with that? Are you still a baby? Do you still cap off your filet mignon with some Gerber's Strained Carrots? Hell no, you don't. And you sure as hell don't need to be eating Campbell's Soup when there's an adult soup out there. Christ. What's wrong with you people? We're talking chunkier meat, fresher vegetables, and a broth that will positively kick your ass and nail it to the wall! Eat Progresso Soups, you pantywaists! Don't make them have to run this commercial again.