The Goofball Trio is working on something on a notepad when Ed walks up and says that he's leaving to go on a date. Phil reads from the notepad that "the last time Ed Stevens got any action, Bill Clinton was still in the White House." Kenny and Shirley laugh uproariously. Ed tries to point out that the joke would be more effective if they used a less recent President. Phil repeats, "Bill Clinton," and Kenny laughs some more. Phil adds, "That's a nice leather jacket. What, is Banana Republic having a sale?" Ed says that they were, and wonders why that's even a joke. Kenny laughs some more. Phil explains that Ed has just been roasted. Ed yells that they will not be roasting a nine-year-old. Kenny and Shirley admit that neither of them got the Banana Republic joke.
Carol comes upon some teachers talking in the Faculty Room. Green Sweater Guy says that some teacher is going to be upset when she returns, because the sub is "putting her in a real hole." Carol asks if they are talking about Nancy. Green Sweater Guy asks if Carol has seen what Nancy is doing in the classroom, because she doesn't get within fifty miles of the lesson plan. Carol makes the excuse that Nancy is new. Green Sweater Guy tells Carol never to let Nancy sub for him.
At dinner, Kate tells Ed that she has a special skill he should know about. Ed pops a boner. I mean, come on. Anyway, Kate claims that she can taste a french fry and tell (plus or minus fifteen minutes) how long ago they changed the fry oil. Ed asks her to demonstrate. Kate eats a couple of French fries and pretends like she's having trouble figuring it out. So she eats some more. I am so shocked that Glark hasn't tried this trick. ["Please don't tell him about it." -- Wing Chun] Ed figures out that there is no trick, and Kate is just eating his fries. This charms him. I would be pissed.
Phil meets with the Kings to make arrangements for their son's birthday party. Mr. King tells Phil that his son's favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. Phil ignores him, and asks what their son's most "mockable physical characteristics" are. The Kings are confused, and say that their son is nine years old. Phil is excited to learn that their son is short. Next, Phil asks about their son's bad habits: "Does he overeat? Does he gamble? Is he famously stingy?" The Kings want to know what's going on with the weird questions, and Phil explains that he's just gathering material for the roast. The Kings are confused. Phil apologizes and says that he thought he was meeting with the Kings. The couple confirms that they are, and they agreed to have their son's birthday party at Stuckey Bowl. Phil asks how their son is with the ladies, and if he gets his fair share. Mr. King replies, "He's prepubescent!" Phil chuckles, "Perfect!"