Ed
Ends And Means

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Ends And Means

Ed walks down the street in Stuckeyville. Just then, a pretty lady passes Ed walking in the other direction; she's carrying a cardboard box. Ed totally turns his head to check her out, like, ogle much there, Ed? As he's watching, the box breaks apart, and the contents of the box fall to the sidewalk. Ed walks back to help, saying things like, "Holy smokes!" and "My goodness gracious!" Then he pretends to be really old, and talks about how much better boxes were made back in the day. And we wonder why Ed hasn't gotten laid lately. Because that routine is not working for anyone. The lady tells Ed that she just got fired from her job at Morrison Crane because some money came up missing. Ed says that they can't just fire her without any proof. The lady says they don't have any proof, and reveals that her name is Kate Harrison. Ed says that he's a lawyer, and that he can help her. Kate doesn't want to spend her life fighting Morrison Crane. Ed understands, and hands the box of stuff back to her. They say goodbye, and Kate walks away. Ed gazes after her.

Mike pops up out of nowhere and says that he doesn't know who that girl was, but if Ed didn't ask her out, Mike will hit Ed in the back of the head. Ed says that he didn't ask her out, and Mike cuffs him in the back of the head. Ed says, "One more time?" and Mike obliges. Hee! It's always funny to see someone getting cuffed in the head. In jest, of course. Although Mike seemed to take a bit too much pleasure from that. Also, I wonder how many takes of that scene they had to do, and if Tom Cavanaugh's head started to really hurt after a while.

Ed and Mike sit at the counter at Stuckey Bowl, eating burgers. I guess now that Mike is a man of leisure, he'll be around a lot more. I approve. Ed is upset that he didn't ask the girl out. Mike agrees. Mike thinks that he should have asked the girl out himself, until Ed reminds Mike that he's married. Although if Mike wants to ask the girl out, I think Uncle Bob would take Nancy. Except Uncle Bob is also married. So there's a whole can of worms that we probably shouldn't open. Ed stands up and starts jumping up in the air, kicking himself in the ass. Hee! Mike wonders how long it's been since Ed has gotten laid. Ed says, "I slept with Nancy this morning, right after you left for work." Which would be funny, except that Mike didn't leave for work this morning, as far as we know. Because he's a man of leisure now. Mike thinks it's only natural that Ed is "feeling a little bit frisky right now." Ed is mad that he blew it, but then realizes that he can call Kate's employer and find her. Mike reminds Ed that Kate got fired, and then starts the funniest dialogue exchange of the episode.

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Ed

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