Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B+ | Grade It Now!
Revenge Of The Nerd-Haters

Back at the bowling alley, it's time for Shirley's one-week evaluation. Even though she sucks wet goat nuts as an assistant, Ed decides to hire her anyway. Shirley wonders aloud if this is some sort of bad episode of Candid Camera where Allen Funt Jr. comes busting out of a wall to tell her to smile. Ed assures her that it's not. Ed looks out his door and the busty woman that Phil was interviewing earlier is now cleaning bowling shoes. Ed reminds Phil that he said there was a hiring freeze going on at Stuckey Bowl and no matter how magnificent this chick's ta-tas are...she's not hired. Phil explains that she's not an employee, she's Phil's intern. This way, they don't have to pay her and Phil still gets to fantasize over this hot mama all day. Phil must be making a movie or something, because he was only in this episode for maybe sixty seconds total this week. Very little Phil makes Uncle Bob cranky, bloated, and irritable.

Back in Dr. Jerome's office, Mike walks in and says, "G'day Dr. Jerome." Jerome asks Mike if he's drunk. Mike says no, but he's got a little show he wants Jerome to watch. The same kids from earlier come out, complaining about their stomachs. A miniature "Dr. Jerome" comes out in a bald wig. He knows what to do about their stomachs. He says all they need is some bloodletting and maybe some leeches. Because that's the way they did things in the Middle Ages. Little Dr. Jerome starts cackling, "I know everything and you know nothing!" over and over again. The kids leave the room and Mike informs Jerome that he called Mr. Gatehouse and he's doing just fine with the diagnosis that Mike provided him. Every dog has its day and today is MIKE'S, baybeee!! Jerome says, "Really?" and tells Mike that Mr. Gatehouse is waiting in the hallway. Jerome calls him in and the guy is covered in a nasty-looking rash. He looks like my ass did in 1981 after a twenty-six-hour bus ride to Trenton, New Jersey. Jerome cackles an evil cackle while Mike looks like a fool for lying to Dr. Jerome.

In Ed's office, Coach Kerwin walks in. Ed tells him he wants the coach to change his method of grading so that Clark can go to college. Coach asks why. Ed says that even though what happened to Shawn Ellis can't be changed, there's no reason to go after Carol for it. Coach points out that nobody ever comes down hard on the English or Math teacher who keeps a star athlete from achieving their dreams, but when the coach does the same to a star pupil, they come out of the woodwork to condemn him. Ed asks if this is being done to prove a point at the expense of Clark's future. The coach says it is, calling Clark a "necessary casualty." Wow. I nominate Coach Kerwin for the most uncaring bastard to ever appear on Ed if you can manage to casually overlook Dr. Jerome's general disdain for all things living.

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