Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B+ | Grade It Now!
Revenge Of The Nerd-Haters

Back at Stuckey Bowl, Shirley is telling Ed that she has come to a conclusion on how she will be answering the phone. She then relays in a monotone the basic answering machine spiel that's included with the instruction booklet of every single answering machine ever sold. Ed says it's nice but if she happens to be at her desk, she needs to just answer it normally. Coach Kerwin comes in and wants to talk to Ed. They shuffle into Ed's office and Coach doesn't mince words when he blurts out that Clark's parents are going to sue him. If he gives their precious little egghead a D, he can color his ass sued, screwed, and tattooed. Coach wants Ed to represent him in the lawsuit. Ed says he would but he's been waiting patiently to be knockin' dem boots with Carol Vessey and there may be a conflict of interest going into the lawsuit. Ed tells him he'll help him find another lawyer. The coach tells him that he's already talked to other lawyers, and Ed's the only lawyer who thinks he's right, yet he won't take his case. He tells Ed all the other lawyers don't understand him and that Ed's the only lawyer who didn't say, "Just give him a B and be done with it." Like all of Ed's clients in the past, he basically begs Ed to take the case. Ed agrees to take the case. Coach points out that if the kid passes the test, then all of this can be avoided. Ed says he'll keep his fingers crossed. Ed is obviously torn between his friendship with Carol and his insatiable desire to sue the shit out of every little geeky high school kid in Stuckeyville and live like a fat cat in a mansion on the hill.

Back in the gym, Warren is shown on the floor, hollering up at Clark that he "can do it" and to pull himself up using his arms. The camera shot changes and Clark's about a foot off the ground, struggling while holding onto the rope. "I'm getting rope burn," Clark whines.

More commercials. When you write for MBTV, you live for the commercials. They give you a chance to take a breather, look over your notes, and ponder how many slices of Stuffed Crust Pizza you would have to eat in order to give yourself a massive coronary (Answer: 3).

Back in the bowling alley, Phil is interviewing a hot, HOT babe in a low-cut blouse. He says now that he knows the girl's major strengths (meaning her cleavage), maybe she could share her biggest weaknesses. She says she may be too intense and loses herself in projects. I know how that is. I got lost in the projects once and almost got shot. She also says that she knows all the state capitals except Nebraska. I'm guessing that's a great qualification for a snack bar girl at a bowling alley, because Phil is overcome with glee. Ed walks up and asks what is going on. Phil says he's interviewing people to take Shirley's spot at the snack bar. Ed says it isn't necessary but Phil says the place is hemorrhaging without Shirley there to man the snack bar. Ed says "no" and that she will not be hired. The girl looks dejected until Phil tells her that he's just going to keep conducting the interview anyway, and she cheers up as if she will actually still be considered for the position. Gotta love them brainless beauties.

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