Warren's sitting at the Smiling Goat when Diane and her cousin walk in. It turns out that Diane's cousin Allison works for a publicity firm and deals with Carson Daly and Freddie Prinze Jr., which automatically makes her the hottest publicity agent in Stuckeyville. You'd think that with that kind of notoriety, she could afford a decent hairdo and some stylish glasses. Diane informs Warren that he now has a publicist. Allison calls Warren "Warner" and shakes his hand. Warren wants to know if she really knows Freddie Prinze Jr., and she says Freddie's a total sweetheart. Uh huh. I read that...in Out magazine. Allison asks Warren what people think of when they think of Warren Cheswick...beside a terrifying case of acne and a permanent puberty voice. Warren says there's many things people may think of. Some think he's funny and sensitive, while others see a sexual potency in him just waiting to be unleashed. Diane interrupts Warren's fantasy world and tells Allison that everyone thinks Warren is a loser. Warren's offended and comments that Diane's description is a bit general. Allison announces her plan to create a "new" Warren. First, he has to date up. Allison points out Nicole Kidman marrying Tom Cruise and Lara Flynn Boyle dating Jack Nicholson as being beneficial to their respective careers. Their stocks rose. Nobody ever thought of Nicole serving as Tom's beard or Lara being Jack's bone-thin trophy girlfriend. But they did start paying attention to both of them. Warren asks if Allison can get him that chick from Dark Angel, and she says she's a publicist, not a magician. That made Diet Sprite come out my nose, and I've never even touched the stuff. Allison plans on making Warren mysterious and alluring. She intends to find a mystery woman nobody knows, snap some pictures of her and Warren together, place them in the local paper, and make it look like Warren's dating a lingerie model from New York City. Freddie Prinze Jr. calls Allison, and she has to take the call, while Warren's getting understandably giddy thinking he's about to rub nubbies with a lingerie model.