At the school auditorium, a kid asks Mr. Bancroft if they can work "this" into the show. The kid then does this terrible dance move -- he's doing this really spastic moonwalk dance that looks like Daffy Duck on fire. Mr. B. says he'll think about it, and then discreetly checks out the kid's goofy ass as he walks away. Don't tell me he didn't...I saw it! Ed walks up and introduces himself, explaining that Carol and Molly have sent him. Ed says the word on the street is Bancroft didn't give the lead role in the play to a boy because he was black. Mr. B. says the word on the street is correct. He did not give the role to the student based on the fact that he was black. Ed's admittedly appalled as we segue into...

...commercials. You know, in my day, I was a big Supertramp fan. But even I despised the song "Give A Little Bit." And now that I see the music world's has-beens -- like Dwight Yoakam and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes -- destroying the song in their own imitable fashion just so that the Gap can sell more jeans...I've gotta admit it makes me sick. Except the one with Liz Phair in it. My Gawd, that woman's hotter than an acid bath.

After commercials, we're still in the auditorium, where Ed is still standing there, shell-shocked that he's eye to eye with an honest-to-God racist. Ed asks if the African-American kid's a better actor than the kid who got the part; Mr. Bancroft says he is. He then takes that major step and asks Bancroft if he's a racist. The teacher smiles, sighs, and begins his story, which nobody really cares about; we just want a stinking answer. Mr. Bancroft has poured his heart into his job. He's the type of teacher who still gets visits from past students who have long since graduated. These kids tell him that those plays they were in? Those plays meant something, dammit. This is why he takes his job seriously. He asks if Ed even knows what the play is called. Ed feigns ignorance, which is getting easier and easier for him to do each week. Bancroft hands him a script for The Abe Lincoln Story. Bancroft explains that it'd be hard to have a black kid playing Abe Lincoln when Abe Lincoln is the one who freed the slaves and wore really cool top hats. Bancroft says it would mean pandemonium in the aisles, chaos in the streets, and pretty shitty reviews to boot if he let a black kid play Abe Lincoln. He says he's doing what's best for the production. Ed tells Bancroft that a little birdie told him Bancroft's going to be fired tonight at a hastily held Board of Education meeting. But they cannot fire him for being a racist when he's not one. Ed suggests they sue the board for wrongful termination. Bancroft doesn't have to agree. It's in his eyes. There's also a prominent bulge in his groin.