Warren and Diane walk into the bowling alley. Warren tells Ed he needs a chooch. Ed asks what a "chooch" is, and Warren translates his wacky teenage slang into Edspeak: a "chooch" is a "favor." Warren needs Ed to find him a beautiful lady. Ed mentions that this is the same conversation they always have. Allison the publicist walks in with her cell phone, telling Freddie Prinze Jr. that she wants him to wear a frilly shirt and carry a whip for a magazine cover shoot. Allison introduces herself to Ed and instantly spots Shirley, saying that she's the beautiful lady they need for Warren's little photo shoot. Warren panics and says, "No!" but Allison assures him that with a little TLC, Shirley will be perfect. Allison walks over to Shirley and asks her if she'd like to be in a photo shoot. Shirley pours a freshly made milkshake straight into a glass without ever diverting her eyes from Allison's. It's an amazing feat and something that would make David Copperfield gasp. Shirley gives Allison a defiant "no!" and walks away. Allison goes after her and assures Warren that she'll talk Shirley into doing it. Warren thanks Ed for the chooch, and Ed tells him to stop using that term. I've noticed that Ed becomes a crusty curmudgeon whenever Warren's around. Maybe he's still stewing about the time Warren called him a bitch.
Molly goes up to someone's front door and knocks. A young Steve Buscemi lookalike answers the door. He really looks like the bastard child of Steve Buscemi and a zombie wolf. Molly tells this kid -- who happens to be named Russell -- that she wants to buy her old car back from him. They walk out to the car and she asks what happened to the hubcaps. Russell has already sold them. Molly says she'll give him $150 for the car, but Russell says he needs $500. Jim scoffs and says that he's only had the car for thirty-six hours. Russell informs them that he has sunk some money into this heap o' shit and got the sonofabitch Jiffy Lubed. Russell changes his tune to $250 and an automatic C+ in science. Molly writes him a check for $250. He asks about the C+ and she tells him that will cost five grand. He asks, "Really?" and she says no. It's scenes like this that make me wish the producers wouldn't give Michael Ian Black the week off.













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