The mayor and Ed go for a stroll through downtown Stuckeyville. The mayor's wearing a monocle, which Ed comments that he's never seen on anyone short of Mr. Monopoly. I get the feeling the mayor wears the monocle to look and feel more important than he is. At least...that's the reason I wear mine around the house. The mayor points out the town's bookstore, which has been around since the 1920s. He says that his opponent would like to see a big, huge bookstore chain move into town along with the dreaded strip malls. The mayor says chain bookstores and strip malls can kiss his Stuckeyvillian ass. The Mayor asks Ed to come to the mayoral debate in the town square the following day and to bring a noisemaker. The mayor walks away, and Ed spots Carol.

Carol has bought a bag full of books from the bookstore, which Ed figures are porno magazines. As it turns out, they're travel books. Carol's thinking about leaving Stuckeyville...FOR GOOD!! Ed stares at her in disbelief as we segue into some commercials.

You know, if I were six years old, I'd piss my pants if my parents dragged me to The Grinch. Jim Carrey frightens the shit out of me now, and I'm thirty-six. If you go see the movie, and you hear someone whimpering like a dog with his nuts stuck in a vise grip, that'll be me cowering in fear.

Back to Ed and Carol. Ed insists that Carol's idea of leaving Stuckeyville is "crazy talk." Carol swears it's not. Carol has always wanted to be a writer but has always lived in Nick's shadow since he is such a well-respected author/high-school teacher. As Carol puts it, "It's like being Shakespeare's girlfriend." As I put it, "It's like being Trapper John M.D.'s assistant's girlfriend, girlfriend. Get over it." Carol's defense is that Stuckeyville is all she knows -- how can she be a writer if this is all she knows? Gee Carol, ask your ex-boyfriend Nick. He seems to have carved out quite a niche for himself in the literary world, all from the geographical hub of eccentricity, Stuckeyville. Sounds like a lame excuse to me, but I'm not Ed, I'm Brad F'n Pitt, the world's sexiest stud muffin.