Ed
Ed

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Uncle Bob: C | 295 USERS: C+
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Something Smells Fishy, and It Ain't Molly's Breath

Enter the great character actor Ernie Sabella as Gary Sherlock, a life-insurance salesman. Gary sells insurance for Stuckeyville Mutual and has done so for fifteen years. Six months ago, the owner retired and left the business to his son, Tommy. Tommy's gone nuts and has told all the salesmen that they have to line up and push the button on one of those talking fish that are all the rage. This fish is Casey the Catfish, who not only talks, but can sing, as well. If the salesman can make the fish sing, he keeps his job. If the fish merely spits out a hokey line with a bad fish pun, the salesman loses his job. Gary doesn't see this as being fair. Ed reminds Gary that here in America, a boss can fire you for whatever reason he wants, as long as it's not over race, age, or sex. Ed decides to take the case anyway as soon as he's done battling the new D.A. in court over the meter-maid fiasco from last week. Gary thanks him and gets up to leave as Ed gets his jollies playing with the fish.

Ed shows up at Ms. Hane's office. Ms. Hane accuses Ed of having a little crush on her, since he couldn't wait until their court date later that afternoon to see her. Ed is flustered, and argues that since Hane won the case last week, she should just drop the appeal. Bonnie says she "didn't win enough," in the most flirtatious manner since Mae West walked the earth. I think she's talking about winning a slab of Ed's weenie, if you ask me. Ed's frazzled because he has this whole fish case thing on which he really needs to concentrate, but he's still having to battle Bonnie in court. Ed tells her to get prepared for a fight. "Don King should be selling tickets to this one," Ed says. "Because it's going to be the Thrilla in Stuckeyville...a." Bonnie looks at him and says, "Huh?" Ed retorts, "You heard me. It was very clever. Goodbye," and walks out of her office. Bonnie grins, knowing that she's getting under his skin and goes back to her work. If she weren't so hot, I'd swear she was Satan in the flesh.

At Mike and Nancy's house, the doorbell rings. A new nanny is here to take care of Baby Sara, who is still the world's worst baby actress. This kid is fascinated by the stage lights and can't take her eyes off them. Watch her next time and then defy me. She makes Tracy from The Partridge Family look like a master thespian. The new nanny's name is Carmella, she's an old Mexican woman whose English would need a wealth of improvement in order to be considered "broken." Carmella asks whether Nancy needs the house vacuumed, and Nancy reiterates that her only job in the house is watching the baby, and that she should keep her filthy hands off the vacuum cleaner. Mike waltzes in and says, "This must be the new nanny I've heard so much about." Carmella acts like he just informed her he'd be branding her ass with a red hot poker. Carmella quickly exits the room, and Mike asks Nancy what that was all about. Nancy suggests that he might have intimidated her. Mike asks how. Nancy says that he was talking loud. Mike says that's his trademark -- that people love to hear him talk loud.

Ed

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