Ed
Hook, Line, And Sinker

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Something Smells Fishy, and It Ain't Molly's Breath

Back at the bowling alley, Phil is introducing the cast of Happy Days to a full house. First is Potsie and Ralph Malph. I swear...I thought it was them. Next he introduces Ron Howard with, "Good job on The Grinch Ron!" Okay...it's obviously not Ron Howard. Potsie and Ralph Malph -- that could have been them. Neither one of them has been in the public eye since the early '80s. But that was not Ron Howard. Next, Phil brings out Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham -- two dead ringers for the real Cunninghams -- but the crowd has caught on to the charade and grown deadly quiet. Phil finally introduces the one and only Fonzie, as a black guy with dreadlocks pulls into the bowling alley on a motorcycle and says, "Aaaayyy!!" with his thumbs up. I've got to say, if Phil tried to pull this stunt in Alabama, his ass would be lynched in a matter of minutes. Alabamians don't put up with hoaxes like this. "It's the cast from Happy Days!" Phil is screaming while slapping a customer on the back. "You'll be telling your grandkids about this! Whoooooo! Who let the dogs out?!" My God. This guy is the most lovable imbecile ever. If I were the least bit gay, I'd spend every waking moment stalking his goofy ass.

Ed's walking Bonnie back to her house and Bonnie decides to open up to Ed. Apparently, she was stood up at the altar in front of family and friends. That's her big story. They kiss -- a long, deep soulful kiss that he should have been holding for Carol. "That was the Shirley Temple talking," Ed smirks. They say goodnight and both go nookieless for the evening.

At the bowling alley, an old man is bitching at Phil. "I'm telling you, the Fonz was not black," he gripes. "I wouldn't know, sir," Phil sniffs. "I see the actor, not the color of his skin." Ed walks in, and Phil announces that the cash registers are brimming. Ed's happy and gives each of his employees a $15 gift certificate. Phil is upset because it was his promotion that dragged the people into the bowling alley, and he wants to know why Kenny and Shirley are rewarded for their crappy promotions. "Let's just say that you have your managerial style, and I have mine," Ed says. Shirley is ecstatic and announces she's going to spend all $15 on cheese fries. Kenny wants to know whatever happened to Richie Cunningham's older brother, which is a joke older than my mother.

Back at Mike and Nancy's, Mike is eating breakfast when Carmella walks in. She quickly hides behind a door and watches Mike lovingly. "The Look of Love" starts playing as Mike is shown eating his pancakes in slow motion, exhibiting perhaps the sloppiest eating since Mama Cass entered a ham-sandwich eating contest. Carmella is obviously hot for Mike. Nancy walks up behind Carmella and asks if everything's okay. She says "yes," but she says it like a lovestruck little girl. Nancy looks disturbed that someone else might actually find her lunkhead hubby attractive.

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Ed

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