Ed
Hook, Line, And Sinker

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Something Smells Fishy, and It Ain't Molly's Breath

Back at the bowling alley, a Chinese guy is singing David Bowie's "Space Oddity" to his audience, which consists of Shirley. "Only one person showed up for Karaoke Night?" Ed asks Phil. "Yes," Phil answers testily. "And poor Shirley isn't taking it well. Treat her nice." Ed asks Phil how the cast of Happy Days is coming along. Phil admits that he has Henry and Donnie, Marion and Tom, Ronnie's a maybe, and Anson is "really busting [Phil's] chops." Ed reminds Phil that when he promises Stuckeyville that the cast of Happy Days will be coming to Stuckey Bowl and they don't show up, they're going to have an awful lot of mad customers on their hands. "Relax, Chicken Little, the sky is not falling. They'll be here," Phil assures Ed. I shift nervously in my recliner in anticipation of the reunion of one of the finest American television sitcoms of all time. Right behind One Day at a Time, of course. That Schneider was a hoot and a half.

Meanwhile, Molly and Carol are walking down the street arm in arm like a young couple in love. Apparently, Molly's given up on ever landing a man and has started turning her eyes toward members of the same sex. "What's your take on the big date?" Molly asks Carol. Carol doesn't know what she's talking about. Molly explains that Ed's got a date with Bonnie. That Molly. Always looking to take Carol down a few pegs. Carol's shocked, but says that it's no big deal; Ed can do whatever he wants. Which apparently includes ignoring her wishy-washy ass.

Back at the bowling alley, the Chinese guy is churning out a godawful rendition of "To All The Girls I've Loved Before." Ed asks Shirley how long she said Karaoke Night would last. Shirley says on the flyers, she put "8 PM until ???" because when you put question marks as the ending time, people will think that the party will go on and on. That's quite possibly the smartest thing Shirley has uttered in twelve episodes. She asks Ed if he's going to fire her. Ed says it was a good idea and that she's not going to be fired. Carol walks in. Ed asks if she came to sing "Ebony and Ivory" with him. Carol asks Ed if she can speak to him. Ed says sure and they go to his office. The Chinese guy still has total command over the karaoke machine.

What follows is a rapid-fire discussion which there is no way to transcribe word for word, so I won't even try. The gist of the conversation is that Carol's a Class-A Fruitcake who says she's not jealous that Ed's going out with Bonnie, but she is upset that he didn't tell her that he was going out with Bonnie because it didn't give her a chance not to be jealous that he is going out with Bonnie, and that Ed and Carol are just friends, and he can go out with Bonnie, but the least he could have done is told Carol about Bonnie so she could not be jealous of his date with Bonnie. Trust me. That's the best way I could transcribe it. That whole scene gave me a headache that Midol couldn't cure. Believe me...I tried.

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Ed

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