Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: D | 337 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Their Guidance Counselor Must Be Proud

That evening at the Smiling Goat Bar, Nick and Carol are holding court in a booth as the local lushes are mesmerized by Nick's half-assed stories of adventures past. Suddenly, Ed walks in. This calls for...

...Commercials. As well as my 7:45 shot of schnapps.

Ed walks up to the booth and begins the obligatory awkward small talk. He sits down with Carol and Nick, and the boys begin to drink heavily. The next scene is obviously a short time later, and the men are clearly drunk because their table is littered with empty beer bottles. Nick tells Ed that he needs to find himself a new woman. Ed admits that he already has. Carol looks like she just shit herself. Nick asks Ed what's wrong...where is this new woman? Ed says, "She's already in love with a pompous ass." Nick nods his head in agreement and admits that he's been in that situation before. Nick jumps up to find Ed a new woman and returns with Marie from the local roller rink. While Ed doesn't seem to be the least bit interested in Marie, I've got to admit, I had a little stirring in my groinage area for Marie. I'd be all over that Marie like a polyurethane shine on a 2001 Cadillac Seville if I were Ed. Sadly, I'm not.

The next morning at Nancy and Mike's, Nancy and Ed are having a peaceful little breakfast when Mike shows up looking like Mickey Rourke after an all-night party at Christian Slater's pad. When actually, Mike finally spent an evening with Sara the Human Scream Machine. Nancy tries to humor Mike by putting pancakes on either side of his head and calling him the pancake mouse. It's not nearly as funny to Mike when he's the one running on fumes.

In court, Ed pleads with the jury to understand that this case is not a laughable case, even though the defendants are trying to make it laughable. He then asks if it's fair to the three plaintiffs to have their fifteen-year-old pact thrown out the window because it's laughable. I say it is. But right now, I'd say anything in order to quit taking notes on this show and get down to some serious drinking.

At the bowling alley that evening, the three stooges are commending Ed for a job well done when the Rich Bitch and his lawyer walk in and want to cut a deal with the three losers. The three guys are confident that they'll win in court and don't want to talk to him. Richie Rich offers the three of them jobs working for him so it can be like old times. They seem not to be interested. I'm sorry, but if I had the brain power of a hamster and an old buddy offered me a cushy job for the rest of my life, you bet your bippy I'd be kissing his ass and calling him "sir." Not these three doofusses. They're holding out for the big payoff that would find Regis Philbin kissing their asses.

Ed

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