Mark buys two cotton candies and offers Diane one. She says no thanks, because she doesn't want to end up a fat and miserable pig with no love life someday...no offense, Tubby. Warren's busy prattling on about how he is the master of shooting water into a clown's mouth, and Mark loses it, asking if that skill is ever going to help Warren later on in life. Whoa, whoa, whoa, big guy. Yes, it may help Warren later in life. Just ask my boss. If her grandmother had known how to shoot a clown in the mouth, she might still have her head and be alive today. Granted, she'd be about 130 years old. But...you know, it's still an important skill nevertheless. Renegade clowns -- they be everywhere! At another booth, Mike's won Nancy a goldfish, and asks the guy how long these fish usually live. The grumpy bastard says, "Forty-five minutes." Mike tells Nancy it's time. Nancy's uneasy about all this, and Mike says it must be done. They walk over to the gang, and Mike announces that Ed needs to get on the Ferris Wheel with them. Mike's got four tickets. Who else should go? Hmmmmm, how abooooout...Carol?! Carol's taken aback, but Jackass tells her to go; he'll just hang out with Molly and talk about carny food to make her drool. So Mike and Nancy will ride in one car, Ed and Carol in the other. The ladies walk off ahead, and Ed thanks Mike for being so subtle. Mike reminds Ed that it's the bottom of the ninth; there's no time for subtlety. Ed thanks Mike, and Mike wishes him luck. I straighten up in my seat, because this is what I've been waiting on for forty-four episodes now: Ed and Carol riding a Ferris Wheel together. Zowey! This'll be one for the archives, all right! By "archives," I mean "TWoP Archives." Which, you know...isn't all that special. These guys archive everything.
Commercials. Oh. An update to something I wrote earlier: it's not Attack of the Clowns. It's Attack of the Clones. Apparently, Dolly the Sheep and all her clone buddies have gone mad and are attacking the human race. Or something. I don't know; I don't get into horror movies anymore.
Warren -- fully caught up in all the hoopla that a carnival can provide -- runs up to a guy and asks how many tickets the Ferris Wheel takes. The old geezer tells him eight tickets. Warren balks at this hefty number of tickets for a boring Ferris Wheel ride, so the guy tells Warren that he'll let him ride for six. Warren gets excited and says, "Really?" The guy pulls the old "no. Not really" line on him, getting a chuckle at the poor geek's expense. Meanwhile, Mark's walking around all mopey, like all the corn dog stands have closed down for the night, and has to sit down on a bench to catch his breath. Diane finds Mark and asks if he's okay; he says sure. She says he seems kind of down, and he says he's okay; he's just winded after walking ten feet. Warren comes running up with sixteen tickets for himself and Diane to ride the Ferris Wheel. Diane tells Warren to let her and Mark ride the Ferris Wheel, since Mark didn't get the thrill of winning the clown game. Warren stares in disbelief as Diane grabs Mark's hand, and they go scampering off towards the Ferris Wheel. As they go, Mark gleefully shouts to Warren, "I didn't get the thrill of winning the clown game!" Warren looks like a desperate man. Not a "frantically drowning" type of desperate. More like a "I wonder if Molly would sleep with me" type of desperate.