Back at the Goat, Warren and MegaMark are sitting in a booth while Diane freshens up in the can. Personally, I don't see how much freshening up a gal who's constantly wearing an oversized fatigue jacket can do, but I'll suspend my disbelief at this time. Warren's telling MegaMark that he's glad they've gotten past this whole thing, because he really thinks he's making ground with Diane, and before he knows it, he's going to be nailing her like a drunk principal nails Wheat Thins. MegaMark is a bit taken aback by this semi-raunchy talk from the Chezzkat. Warren asks MegaMark whether he thought Diane was a good kisser, and then starts getting all "guy" on him. It's kinda funny to watch Warren attempt "macho." Diane comes up and sits down next to Warren; she's shed the fatigue jacket, which makes a freakin' liar out of me. Thanks, Diane. Thanks for making me look like a complete ass. Warren calls Diane "Lil' D," and then says, "The Chezkat and Lil' D! That's what I'm sayin'!" In the mean time, the camera gets a slow closeup of a lovesick MegaMark that makes me feel a tinge of sadness for the guy. I mean, not enough to quit poking fun at him. Just enough to make me think that maybe he's hurting inside. Deep inside. Too deep for any surgeons ever to find. Maybe a crack team of Scandinavian liposuction experts could find the hurt. But other than that...the shit is buried.
Ed and Mike are working in the park, building the stage for the upcoming talent show. Ed's convinced that Carol's engaged right now. Mike says that Ed doesn't know that, and Ed says of course they're engaged, because Jackass ordered braised short ribs and a man doesn't order braised short ribs unless there's a very important moment going down. Personally, I'm not even sure I know what braised short ribs are. To the best of my knowledge, Applebee's doesn't serve them. Ed's having trouble believing that Carol would settle for anyone less than a supercool handsome type. Mike stays silent. Ed sighs and accuses Mike of thinking that Jackass is the supercool handsome type. Mike says he didn't say that, but he does think Jackass is slightly handsome. Ed demands to know what's so handsome about him. Mike says he's sort of attractive. He's got nice eyes. They might be hazel. He's got strong shoulders and a great set of abs. Mike excuses himself to go find a broom closet in order to spank his wonk-wonk.









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