Last Chance

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | Grade It Now!
Last Chance

Commercials. Oh. An update to something I wrote earlier: it's not Attack of the Clowns. It's Attack of the Clones. Apparently, Dolly the Sheep and all her clone buddies have gone mad and are attacking the human race. Or something. I don't know; I don't get into horror movies anymore.

Warren -- fully caught up in all the hoopla that a carnival can provide -- runs up to a guy and asks how many tickets the Ferris Wheel takes. The old geezer tells him eight tickets. Warren balks at this hefty number of tickets for a boring Ferris Wheel ride, so the guy tells Warren that he'll let him ride for six. Warren gets excited and says, "Really?" The guy pulls the old "no. Not really" line on him, getting a chuckle at the poor geek's expense. Meanwhile, Mark's walking around all mopey, like all the corn dog stands have closed down for the night, and has to sit down on a bench to catch his breath. Diane finds Mark and asks if he's okay; he says sure. She says he seems kind of down, and he says he's okay; he's just winded after walking ten feet. Warren comes running up with sixteen tickets for himself and Diane to ride the Ferris Wheel. Diane tells Warren to let her and Mark ride the Ferris Wheel, since Mark didn't get the thrill of winning the clown game. Warren stares in disbelief as Diane grabs Mark's hand, and they go scampering off towards the Ferris Wheel. As they go, Mark gleefully shouts to Warren, "I didn't get the thrill of winning the clown game!" Warren looks like a desperate man. Not a "frantically drowning" type of desperate. More like a "I wonder if Molly would sleep with me" type of desperate.

Over at the Ferris Wheel, everyone's getting on the ride. Carol spots Diane and Mark and asks where Warren is. Diane says he's sitting this one out. Ed and Carol get in their car. Ed asks Carol if she's scared. She says no, and asks if he is. He says no, and gives a sly grin. Uh oh. Something's up here. I get the feeling when they get off the ride, they'll be the ones engaged. You just watch, Buster. I'm never wrong about this type of thing. Meanwhile, Mark and Diane get in their car. Diane asks Mark if he likes Ferris Wheels. Mark's got the "frantically drowning" look on his face, otherwise known as sheer panic. Mark says he likes them; he's just not sure they like him. Diane points out that Mark makes fun of himself a lot, and asks why. "Because it's pretty damned easy" is his reply. Hallelujah, big guy. That's the same reason I do it. It's much easier to make fat jokes than it is to make neurotic jokes about Carol or nice-guy jokes about Ed. If I actually spent the time required on these recaps to make fun of people other than Mark, we'd all be reading the third-episode recap right now, rather than that of the season finale.

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