My most hated song ever assaults my eardrums as the next scene opens. It's "Hot Hot Hot." I really could not hate a song more than I do this one. How could the same people who chose the excellent Foo Fighters theme song pick this to be included in an episode? Anyway, I'll just get through with this scene as quickly as possible. Pollak leads a conga line through the bar, followed by Carol, Molly, Nancy, and some extras. Ed and Mike watch gloomily as Mike remarks that he hates dancing. That's not dancing, Mike. That's walking around while trying desperately to hold onto the person in front of you and hoping that you don't fall down and get trampled by all of the drunken fools behind you. Ed is amazed at the change in Pollak. Mike says that Pollak is "ruining the illusion [he's] created in Nancy that [he's] the most exciting human being on the planet." Heh. Ed says that scaling buildings won't change the fact that life is temporary. Mike tells him that he's a "depressing date," and comments that Ed should "use it or lose it." Mike explains that Ed isn't as active as he was at eighteen. Nancy runs over and pulls Mike out to the dance floor. Molly and Carol run over and tell Ed that Pollak is great. Ed's still gloomy. The two women pull Ed out to the dance floor. I don't get to see Ed and Mike dancing? That almost would have made up for having to hear that song. Almost.
Phil is at the bowling alley, listening to headphones and repeating "inspirational" phrases about being a general, and the sun, and the moon, and the planets. Ed walks up carrying a big box and asks Shirley what's going on. Shirley explains that Phil bought some tapes to help him get a raise. Phil concludes by yelling out that he is going to "SUCCEED! LIKE! A CHAMP!" Phil sighs contentedly and takes off the headphones, just as a customer approaches to get a pair of bowling shoes. Ed says, "Okay, then." See, that was funny because of the juxtaposition of Phil's melodramatic repetition and the mundane nature of getting bowling shoes. Or something. Come on, Phil is always funny. You just have to see it -- it's impossible to describe.