Mike walks into an examining room where...Ed is sitting! How funny! Wouldn't it be weird if your friend were also your doctor? I guess it would be cool, because, you know, free drugs. Not that I take drugs. Nor should you. I'm just saying, in theory. Anyway, Mike's all, "Okay, Mr. Stevens. How we feeling today?" Ed asks Mike not to use the "big doctor voice," but Mike clearly likes the big doctor voice. Ed points out that he once saw Mike get his head stuck in a banister, so it's hard to take him seriously. Mike fits Ed with a blood pressure cuff and asks if he's had any problems lately. Ed says that when he was getting dressed and bent down to pick up a sock, he heard a crackling. Mike says deadpan that Ed has "two weeks to live, maybe three if [he cuts] back on the salt." Ed says that he'd never heard a noise like that from his body before. He never has? I'm a good five years (okay, four) younger than Ed, and I've been hearing crackling for years. He must be in really good shape. Mike points out that Ed is "just getting older," and assures him that it's nothing to worry about. Ed wonders why getting older is nothing to worry about. Mike kind of kneels in front of Ed and tells him to "turn [his] head and cough." Ed's all, "Excuse me? I don't think so." Mike says, "Yeah, okay." Testicle jokes are funny. And...credits.
At the bowling alley, Ed is giving out shoes. Phil comes up and asks "Bossco" if they can "rap," because he needs "a taste, you know -- juice." I love how Phil can put together words to form sentences that still make absolutely no sense. Ed says basically what I just said. Phil thinks that Big Rudy was right -- that Phil deserves a percentage of the profits, or as Phil calls them, "the whole condito." Ed points out that "condito" isn't a word. Phil takes that opportunity to resign as manager. Ed's all, "What?" as Phil hugs him, says goodbye, and walks off. Ed tells Phil's departing back, "Wait, you're not quitting!" Apparently, Phil is. I don't think it'll take, though.
As Phil walks out, Kevin Pollak walks in with a really bad comb-over. His character's name is William Johnson, and he's a chemical engineer. He asks if Ed likes bacon, and Ed, of course, loves it, as all right-thinking people do. Pollak asks to speak privately, so they head into Ed's office. You know, I used to think of Bradley Whitford as the poor man's Kevin Pollak, but I guess The West Wing kind of reversed those fortunes, huh?