Ed
Live Deliberately

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Live Deliberately

In Carol's classroom, she is telling a "Mark" that he can't do his book report on Johnny Tremain because "it was written for ten-year-olds." It was? I thought I remembered my brother reading it in seventh grade. Mark points out that it won a Newbery Award (which it did, in 1944), which Carol retorts is "an award for children's literature." And not to be a nit-picker, but as a former bookseller, I have to say that the official rules state that the books' intended audience can be "ages up to and including fourteen." I'm not sure what grade Carol teaches, so maybe they're a little older than that, but not by much. Everyone is dressed in summery clothes, especially Carol, who is wearing a sleeveless shirt. Despite her clothing, Carol tells the class that it's time for "winter projects" and that she has assigned them into "groups of four," and that they should check the bulletin board for group assignments. We see Warren doodling a really terrible picture of his crush, Jessica. You know, the one he tried to impress with the CPR on Ed a few weeks back? The bell rings and the kids get up to leave. Warren checks the bulletin board and sees that he is assigned to read Walden, and his group includes Mark, Jessica, and some girl we don't know named Donna. Warren is thrilled, and tells Carol so, wondering "what god [he has] pleased to deserve such a favor." Carol pretends that she didn't know that Warren had a crush on Jessica. Warren tells her that she's "an awesome lady," and that some women would be jealous that Warren's affections turned to someone "younger and prett..." but before he can finish, Carol dismisses him. Man, that Warren needs to learn when to hold his tongue, huh?

Back at Stuckey Bowl, Pollak is opening up a bunch of Tupperware containers, explaining to Ed that they contain a sampling of all the various brands of bacon on the market. Ed tries a few, saying that they "taste like bacon." Ed has a lot more reserve than I would -- I'd be totally chowing down on all the bacon. Bacon tastes good. Pollak pulls out a special sample, asking Ed to try it. Ed munches and then says, "Oh. My. God. This is the most fantastic piece of bacon I've ever tasted in my life." Pollak smiles tightly and says that he invented it and he wants Ed to help him get a patent. Ed asks if Pollak "invented a new pig," and Pollak launches into a fancy explanation that I don't understand, but it's all very scientific, and it results in "an increased bacony flavor." Ed asks how much the process costs, and Pollak replies that it's currently at "$2300 a slice," but that he's going to do some experiments later today that he thinks will bring the cost down. Just then, Carol and Molly show up to take Ed to lunch. Ed introduces them to Pollak. Carol offers to meet Ed over at "the pie shop." Ed finishes up with Pollak by promising to run a patent search. Pollak offers Carol and Molly some bacon. Carol tries some, but it looks like she's just being polite. What is wrong with these people? If someone offers you bacon, you don't turn it down? Has the whole world gone mad? Molly takes a bite and says, "Holy crap!" So it's some good bacon. Got it.

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Ed

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