Back at the Goat (which is doing some bang-up business this episode), Nancy's waiting for Stevie. He shows up, apologizing that he's been at the bank, depositing the money from his paper route into his savings account. Nancy wants to talk, and Stevie tells her he's all ears. Well...he's not exactly all ears. He's about 10\% ears and 90\% gut, but he's a growing boy and I'll let the gut comment slide for now. Anyway, Nancy says she feels weird about them getting together. She says that when she was a young girl, she had a crush on her barber, and.... Stevie interupts her. Stevie says that he has never had a crush on Nancy. Besides, he's dating someone. Also, Nancy's not his type (he obviously hasn't seen her sexy dance), and she must be three times his age. Nancy says that she might be twice his age -- two and a half times his age, tops. Stevie asks what the difference is between being friends online and being friends in real life? Well, for one, my real-life female friends kinda balk at me forcing them to talk dirty at 2 AM while I'm sitting in a darkened room in some dirty boxers with half a bottle of Dewar's scotch all over my chest. My internet female friends jump at the chance because they think I look like a slightly more chiseled Fabio. Nancy decides that there's nothing wrong with their friendship, and comes to terms with the fact that she's spending an inordinate amount of time hanging out with a child to whom she's not related. Stevie starts babbling about seeing One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest the other night, and how the movie represents Milos Forman at the top of his game, when Nancy finally snaps out of her hypnotic state, excuses herself, and gets the hell away from Stevie, leaving through the front door. Stevie shrugs and orders a salad for lunch. I think it's a little late for salads, there, Captain Tubbo.
At the frat house, Warren's outside waiting for his geriatric date when he accidently walks into two huge football players. Warren gets all nervous, thinking he's about to get his ass handed to him and starts talking football talk with them, except it comes out "Knute Rockne! Jim Thorpe! Win one for the Gipper!" Carrie walks up as Warren's in the midst of a nervous babbling fit. She grabs him by the arm, they bound up the stairs, and she tells the asshole frat guy out front that Warren's with her. Warren mouths the words "I'm with HER!" and they slip into the party.