Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B- | 448 USERS: C+
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O Brother, Where Art Thy Brains?

Back at the alley, construction is underway for the revamped Stuckey Bowl. Ed and Lloyd are walking through the place as Lloyd glad-hands all the workers, knowing each of their histories. Ed's impressed that Lloyd knows so much about these guys already, which proves that Lloyd's a better people person than Ed is. Lloyd wants him to go upstairs to check something out. Ed's hesitant, and Lloyd tells him he has the constitution of a titmouse, which sounds like the kinda line I'd write just to see if I could get the phrase "titmouse" on the air.

At the Goat, Stevie is rhapsodizing about food shows on cable television as Nancy looks like she's sitting on an African pygmy warrior. Stevie notices her look of extreme discomfort and asks if everything's all right. He's shocked that she's so talkative online and so shy in person. Nancy smiles as if she's undergoing intense labor pains. Molly and Carol walk up and ask if they can join them for lunch. Stevie says sure, while Nancy grunts through her clenched smile. Stevie recognizes Molly's perfume, and says that his uncle imports perfume and that he's grown up around it his whole life. Molly looks bewildered, Carol looks amused, and Nancy looks like she's being informed that she has inoperable brain cancer.

Ed and Lloyd make it to the roof of the bowling alley where Lloyd unveils the new sign and name of the club: Strikes. It's a huge, gaudy red sign. Ed can't believe Lloyd changed the name of the bowling alley and Lloyd says that Stuckey Bowl is the name a sixty-year-old man would give a bowling alley. Ed asks how much the sign cost, and Lloyd starts talking about fishing. Ed asks him again, and Lloyd says it cost $1,100. Ed about flips out, and Lloyd says that with all the shipping and handling, it was really about $1,800. Ed now officially flips out as Lloyd tries to justify changing the alley's name and ordering a $2,000 sign behind Ed's back. Despite Lloyd's efforts, Ed seems to be a bit on the pissed side. Before he throws his brother off the roof to a bizarre death, Ed leaves Lloyd standing on the roof alone. Again. Naturally.

Commercials. You know, I really miss Dave Thomas from Wendy's. Man, that guy could make a commercial worth watching, you know? That crazy bastard would put chili on a rusted car fender and eat it and we'd all laugh, saying, "Man, Dave! You are one insane piece of work!" Nowadays, Wendy's commercials are about as exciting as a root canal. I have a solution to this problem: hire Bobcat Goldthwait as the new spokesman for Wendy's. Dress his ass up like Dave and make it look like he's bought the company and is now offering things like Snotburgers or something. Heh. I'd sure watch those commercials again if they did something wacky like that. Oh. And the bald guy from ER is still dying.

Ed

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