Well, the power just came back on at the house. This is after I'd recapped everything up to the last scene of the show. And of course, I didn't save anything. It's all gone. I've been writing for the last two hours and it's gone. I know, I know, you're saying, "Just write it all again, Uncle Bob. You can do it." Yeah, maybe I can. But I'm one pissed-off individual right now, and I now have to rewrite what was arguably the best recap I've ever done. Sadly, my computer ate it, and we will never get to experience the joy that my aborted recap would have brought us all. So enjoy the second half of this horseshit tossed-together recap. Dammit. I'm pissed now.
In Ed's office, Ed's talking some lawyer shit on the phone as Lloyd walks in and admires his work. Ed hangs up the phone, and Lloyd starts babbling about how great Ed is at being a lawyer, when it's a complete suck-up job to mask the fact that he just spent almost two grand on a sign for this wacky new bowling alley idea. Ed just stares at him, and Lloyd says that if Ed's still pissed about the sign, Lloyd's already apologized for that. Ed stares. Lloyd says that if it will make Ed feel better, he'll...he'll...he'll cut his pinkie off. Lloyd picks up a pair of scissors from Ed's desk, wraps the blades around his pinkie, and starts to saw his pinkie clean off his hand. Somewhere, Ed Gein is salivating. Lloyd makes a face like it's hurting, and Ed finally cracks up. This cracks Lloyd up, and Lloyd says Ed should be grateful that he got the lawyer gene while Lloyd got the weird gene. They go to meet the beer guy out back. Awwwww. They're brothers again. How grand. Meanwhile, I'm still not talking to my sonofabitch shit-eating computer. Yes, I know it's my responsibility to save my work at various portions of the job. But my computer should have some kinda auto-save function or something. Bitch-assed computer.
At the Smiling Goat, Warren is telling MegaMark that, had he gotten his foot in the door at that frat party, all of his life's problems would be solved. MegaMark notices Diane standing outside like a poor little match girl, and motions for her to come join them. MegaMark tells Warren that he needs to look into nailing Diane on a semi-regular basis. I know it's not a very PC thing to say, but I'd sooner saw my penis off with a rusted chainsaw then have sex with Diane. She just doesn't float my boat. Neither does Molly. Sorry, kids. They're not my type. I like my women with self-esteem. Anyway, Warren's telling MegaMark that he doesn't wanna hear no lip about Diane liking him when Carrie walks up her walker (because she's so damned old). Carrie says she missed Warren at the party the other night, and Warren says they had to leave and go to Home Depot to buy a crapload of wood. What he meant to say is that he had to go home because his underwear was full of wood after he met her. Carrie tells Warren that there's another party on Friday night, and tells him he should come. Warren says he will...in his pants. Carrie tells him to meet her outside at 7, and she'll get him in the place. Now then, it may have been a few decades since your dear old Uncle Bob was in college, but in my day, if a party started at 7 PM, you can bet your sweet ass Dungeons and Dragons would have been involved somehow. Only nerd parties start at 7. Cool parties don't start a minute before 11 PM. I should know. I cruised through college with a 0.3 GPA but a 4.0 in Partayyy. Meanwhile, Diane sits down with our heroes and thanks the mouth-breathers for not waiting for her. Which really isn't fair, since MegaMark has a glandular disorder and couldn't make it through a family member's funeral without a snack of some sort. MegaMark comments that the two young would-be lovers are so cute together, and neither one acknowledges the comment because the thought of any naked physical contact between them is enough to make Warren retch and Diane squeal in public like a seal with its flipper caught in an oscillating fan.