Ed
Lloyd

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O Brother, Where Art Thy Brains?

Commercials. The bald guy on ER is still dying. This is more like a public service announcement rather than a commercial. Like it's NBC's duty to remind us to watch their shows.

At Nancy's wild Billy Joel-lovin' shindig, Mike's asking a guy how long he's been into B.J. The guy says he's enjoyed oral sex since he was a teen. Mike says no, not blowjobs, Billy Joel. The guy grins sheepishly and says ever since "Allentown" came out; he was hooked for life upon hearing that. My God. Unless you're from Allentown, I can't imagine anyone ever admitting they like that song. I'd rather hear my teeth being drilled with no novocaine than listen to that horseshit. Nancy asks a guest if she wants "a bottle of red or a bottle of white," which comes from one of the Joel Man's tunes, but for the life of me I refuse to remember which one. The doorbell rings, Nancy answers it, and it's the freakin' Man Show boy, Aaron. God, I love this kid. For those of you with an inkling of class in your body and thus have never seen The Man Show, Aaron is the official mascot of the show; the hosts send him out on various projects, like rubbing suntan lotion on women at the beach. He tells the women the rudest, most profane things allowed on cable television, and he never fails to generate big laughs. I settle back in my chair and wait for him to offer Nancy a free bikini wax with his tongue. Nancy greets him like he's a boy scout trying to sell magazine subscriptions, and he explains that he's Stevie Walters from the chat room. Nancy's shocked that he's so young, and he walks right into the party like he was walking onto a yacht (sorry...I love that line). Nancy feels dirty and disgusting because for the past several months, she's been staying up until 3 AM talking to a thirteen-year-old on the internet and more than likely talking about losing her virginity to the strains of Billy Joel performing "Goodnight Saigon." A word of advice, Nancy: it may be looked upon as an annoying habit of chatroom perverts, but the simple chatroom phrase "a/s/l" can prevent you from any more embarrassments in the future.

Back at the alley, the gang's all swingin' the balls. Bowling balls, that is. Molly and Carol are infatuated with Lloyd and his amazing ability to be even more charming than Ed. Molly seems to have rebounded quite nicely from her role as an unwilling homewrecker from a few episodes back. Carol asks Lloyd if he likes living in Milwaukee; Lloyd says it's okay, but what he really wants to do is move to Stuckeyville and open up a bowling alley/nightclub with Ed. Carol thinks it's a great idea, while Ed stews because it's starting to look like his loser brother will get in Carol's bloomers before he does simply because (say it with me here) Carol dates nothing but losers. Lloyd goes to the snack bar to get them all some hot dogs, and Molly and Carol chastise Ed for not catering to Lloyd's every whim and revamping his business for his loser brother. Ed says it's all a great idea, but that there are issues between him and Lloyd, and that Lloyd is a dreamer with dreams of draining Ed's savings account. Carol asks Ed whether everyone should get a second chance in life; Ed says that he's given Lloyd five, six, seven chances to earn Ed's trust and Lloyd has never done it. Lloyd comes back and asks what everyone wants on their hot dogs. Molly says she wants a large meat lovers supreme pizza on hers. Ed says, "Let's do it" and Molly grins and begins to salivate. Ed says no, let's transform the bowling alley into a hip bowling emporium so that Ed comes off looking like a nice guy catering to his brother and maybe this will finally score him some points with Ms. Carol Vessey. Lloyd gets all excited and demands a hug from Ed. Ed tells Lloyd that the first time he sees that Lloyd is failing to take this project seriously, it's over. Lloyd swears that, this time, he's in it for the long haul. Molly pouts because everyone forgot about her hot dog.

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