Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | Grade It Now!
O Brother, Where Art Thy Brains?

We see MegaMark waiting for Warren to show up so that they can get in the Theta Beta Carotene party. Warren runs up with fake glasses and long bushy sideburns, looking like the love child of the fat guy in Barenaked Ladies and Neil Young. ["There's more than one fat guy in Barenaked Ladies, dude." -- Wing Chun] MegaMark yanks off the sideburns and glasses as Warren says he's going for a college hipster look. MegaMark says that Warren's breaking Diane's heart with all this crazy shit, and that she's totally in love with Warren. Warren blows off this news and says he's seen Some Kind of Wonderful; besides, it would never work because Diane's a cynic and Warren's a dreamer. MegaMark says he's a jackass, and Warren starts chatting up some chickies in line. The woman he's talking to is finer than a baby pube but looks to be in her late forties; she's certainly not a college age girl. I know the actors playing Warren and MegaMark are both in their mid-twenties, but at least they look younger. This actress looks like she was pulled out of an aging cream commercial at the last second and thrust into her role as a beautiful college girl. Alas, I digress my ass off. The girl's name is Carrie. She asks Warren if he's a member of the fraternity. Warren says he is, and that he and MegaMark are up from Notre Dame for the weekend and decided to come to the party. They make small talk without mentioning that the woman is probably old enough to be drawing Social Security checks, and she and her buddies go in, telling Warren that they'll see him inside. Warren pops a major boner for her and can't wait to get inside. Warren and MegaMark make their way to the guys who are blocking the door. These guys are your typical fraternity assholes who would probably get great pleasure out of seeing the two high-school boys crawling around the inside of a mall naked with votive candles shoved up their asses, barking and asking shoppers to kick them repeatedly in the teeth. The lead guy asks Warren what they're doing there, and Warren says they're from an affiliate at Notre Dame. The guy smirks and says that Notre Dame doesn't have fraternities. Warren corrects him, saying that they didn't use to have fraternities, but they do now. The guy wants Warren to show him the secret handshake. Warren swallows, grabs the guy's hand, and just stands there. The guy lets go and tells Warren to beat it. Warren grabs his hand again and does a secret handshake that would make the Three Stooges proud. The guy peels off one of the Greek letters from Warren's hipster jacket and tells them, once again, to beat it. MegaMark starts pulling Warren away while Warren protests, saying he has to get to Carrie.

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