Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | 258 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
There's No Need To Argue, Parents Just Don't Understand

Meanwhile, Carol is joining Ed's parents (Alan and Natalie, we learn) for lunch. She asks if Ed's running late. Here's a shocker...Ed's not joining them. Mr. Stevens tells Carol, "What we discuss here stays here." She agrees. Mr. S. says that he doesn't care how or why Carol talked Ed into buying a bowling alley, he just wants Carol to relinquish her hold on Ed and asks how much it will cost to get her to convince Ed to move back to New York. Carol's visibly shocked, because the Stevens family all think she's doing the nasty with little Ed when she hasn't even gotten to second base with the strike-out king. Alan tells Natalie to get the checkbook and starts naming figures. $500? $1,000? Carol's offended and excuses herself by saying she's late for basketball practice. Ed's mom asks if they can get her something to go? Carol declines the offer and leaves. Had it been Molly, I bet she'd still be sitting there chowing down.

Kenny and Shirley are back on the roof, with Shirley scoping the place out through her binoculars. "We're going to need Night Vision goggles like they had in Silence of the Lambs, except they wouldn't be the killers," she informs Kenny, like they're married and Kenny's made of money. Kenny says that he loved Jodie Foster in that film, how she was tough and feminine. Shirley hesitates before stating her opinion on Jodie's character: "Clarice was the architect for the modern female hero," she says quickly. "Intelligence and non-threatening beauty combined with a moderate physical strength and a strong but not unbreakable moral code." Kenny's impressed and asks her if she made that up. Shirley says she saw it on the TV Guide channel. Kenny nods in approval, agreeing, "That's a good channel."

Across town at the high school, Carol bounces into the gym, full of pep and energy, to face a bunch of lifeless young girls. Not that they're dead. God, no. That would be the basis for a horror movie, not Ed. What I mean is, they're all sitting there with no enthusiasm. One girl wonders why a former Miss Teen USA would want to work with them. Carol scoffs at that remark and says she was never a Miss Teen USA. It's decided that the Miss Teen USA rumor was just that -- a rumor. Carol tries to pump them up by telling them they're a great group of girls and instructs them all to get on their feet. The girls slowly rise from the floor like deflated helium balloons. Carol informs them that they'll all be doing some "basket making." She glances up to find the baskets, but the janitorial staff has raised the goals to the roof. "Are they always that high?" Carol asks. "They stopped lowering those last month," one of the players responds. Carol shifts into plan B: "Ball throwing." Trouble is, the girls only have one ball to practice with. Carol, coming off like a regular Coach MacGyver, decides that they will do some ball bouncing. Whoever bounces the ball the highest wins a fruit roll-up, which is basically treating the basketball team like a bunch of trained seals. Carol decides to go first, and bounces the ball on the floor. The ball has no give to it and just sits flat on the floor. Plan D kicks into overdrive: calisthenics. Carol then starts doing the most pathetic-looking jumping jacks in the history of exercise.

Ed

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