Ed
Losing Streak

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Uncle Bob: C | Grade It Now!
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There's No Need To Argue, Parents Just Don't Understand

Back up on the roof of the alley, Kenny mentions that there's a big basketball game tonight and everyone in town should be there, thus the "T" should be safe. His manly instincts then lead him to believe that Shirley and he can leave their post and go watch the game. Shirley agrees to go to the game with him. Kenny says that he thinks this experience has brought them closer. Shirley dissipates any sexual overtones from Kenny with a curt "I disagree."

Back in the courtroom, the judge is convinced that the defendants could have had no idea that Ted would go nuts. Therefore, the Judge finds for the defendants. Everyone's happy and Ed's parents are finally proud of their little boy.

At the gym that evening, the Varsity girls come bounding out onto the court. When it comes time for the JV team, Ed hits the boom box, playing "Also Sprach Zarathustra." Molly dims the lights and a spotlight shines on a door. Ed announces the team in a booming deejay voice. The girls slowly come out, shielding their eyes from the spotlight.

The game begins and the girls are on fire, hitting one basket. After that, it's a major struggle for them to even look alive.

Up on the roof of the bowling alley, Kenny's welding the "T" down. Shirley is admiring his technique and asks where he learned to weld. "In the joint," Kenny blurts out matter-of-factly. Shirley looks like he just stuck a gun in her ribs.

Back in the gym, the members of Carol's team are getting their asses kicked harder than that team that always plays the Harlem Globetrotters. The scoreboard reads 68-8. Carol calls for a time-out. The varsity coach is livid, screaming, "There's only six seconds left, you're losing by sixty points, why are you calling time out?"

Carol gives the girls one last pep talk and tells them to go with the pick and roll. The pep talk doesn't really work the magic she was hoping for and one of the girls asks if she can say anything else to motivate them. Carol says ,"Win one for the Gipper," and apparently that's all it'll take to turn these girls into winners.

While Queen's "We Are The Champions" plays, the last six seconds of the game are stretched out over an excrutiatingly long slow-motion montage. For anyone who has never seen a single movie or TV show revolving around a group of misfits trying to win a game...they end up scoring a basket, pushing their final score into the double digits of 10. The crowd goes nuts, the team shares a group hug and Ed tells Carol, "That's got to be the greatest fifty-eight-point loss in the history of the game."

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