Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: A- | 287 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You've Gotta Fight For Your Right To Bonnie

Molly's walking down the street when Carol flies out of the pie shop to tell her all about the date with the guy that Molly's puddlin' for. Carol reiterates that NOTHING HAPPENED, so that Molly won't come after her à la Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. In fact, Carol tells Molly that they talked about her and that the Jeff door is wide open and maybe Molly should give him a shot. Molly says she prefers the "coy" route when it comes to asking men out. On a side note, Molly has dyed her hair so orange that the only other television personality whose hairstyle it could possibly be compared to is Bozo. She looks like Bozo, people. Molly, do us all a favor -- go back to brunette. Jeff is never going to feel completely comfortable sitting across a candlelight dinner from a clown.

At the bowling alley, Ed is installing security cameras with Phil's help. This way, the next time Big Rudy tries to sabotage the bowling alley with ferrets, deadly venomous rattlesnakes, or werewolves, the whole thing will be caught on tape and Ed will be able to ruin Big Rudy in a court of law. Carol walks in and asks if they're beefing up bowling alley security. Duh, you insensitive witch...I think that's what security cameras are for. Phil turns around, looks at Carol, and says "Whoa! You look great. Did you sneak off somewhere and get some work done?" Carol doesn't know whether to be offended or aroused and opts for neither while answering him with a "no." Stubby gives her a look that screams "Phil Stubbs' Love-Atorium is now open for business." Carol doesn't even humor him with a glance.

As Ed and Carol walk to his office, she asks what happened to him and Bonnie the other night. The night Bonnie broke his heart. You remember...right? I recapped it about a page ago. Ed says a thing happened and leaves it at that, but he wants to know about Carol's new "boyfriend." Carol shoots down any possibilities of a steamy hot Stuckeyville rumor by saying he's just a guy from Nancy's book club, and why is she getting the third degree from Ed when he has a girlfriend. Ed says he won't have a "girlfriend" for long because Bonnie's leaving town. Carol looks like Ed McMahon just showed up at her doorstep with a million dollar check and half a bottle of Dewar's. She's happy, let's put it that way. She says "good for her." Ed repeats the phrase sarcastically. Carol senses his despair and says that if Ed really liked the woman, he wouldn't let her go without a fight. If she recalls, he showed up in her classroom wearing a suit of armor, he made her a goofy rock video, and he even hired a skywriter to send her a love message. Edward J. Stevens FIGHTS for his femme fatales, baby...so why is he stopping now? Ed stands there, letting those words soak into his skin like sulfuric acid. Maybe...just maybe...it's time Ed got off his ass and fought for the woman he loves.

Ed

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