Wait just a damned minute here. Shirley ain't ratting anyone out. The video is of Kenny, who managed to stand motionless at the shoe-rental counter for five hours. They fast-forward through the video and sure enough...Kenny's just standing there while the world goes on around him. "He's so talented," Shirley swoons.

Now wait a second here. I always detected a little sexual chemistry between Shirley and Kenny. It's been pointed out that Shirley and Rudy have a sexual past between them. And last week, she took El Loserino Chuck under her wing in order to show him the ins and outs of how to please a meek and quiet woman. Ladies and gents...could our mild-mannered bowling alley employee be the Heidi Fleiss of Stuckeyville, using her own body for pleasuring the animal instincts of the male citizens of our fine little burg?

....Nahhhhh.

Back in court, it's closing arguments time. Amanda has no evidence that she wrote all the songs herself and if she can't prove that she wrote them, she shouldn't win the case. Meanwhile, Bonnie slithers into the courtroom, hissing quietly and darting her forked tongue in and out of her mouth. Ed stands up and makes a speech about loyalties. Amanda didn't just start The Solids...she IS The Solids. And just because a pet store employee waved a one in a million chance at a record contract, the band turned their backs on Amanda. It's just not right. Wow Ed. Great defense. Sheesh. How much do you charge for that shit??

The judge makes his ruling. Since Amanda can't prove she wrote the songs, the band can continue playing them. Case dismissed. Mr. Stevens, you're an idiot.

We jump over to Bonnie's humble abode where Ed and Mike are hiding in the bushes. Ed is dressed up like a retarded superhero with a giant "S" plastered on his chest and a sign saying "Don't Leave." Yes, this is Ed's feeble attempt at trying to win Bonnie over so that she'll stay in Stuckeyville. Mike is having second thoughts on Ed's outfit. The suit of armor was romantic. This? Not so much. Ed tries to explain the concept. He's Captain Stuckeyville. He wants her to stay in Stuckeyville and he's...Captain Stuckeyville. It makes perfect sense to Ed. Bonnie walks up the sidewalk. Ed gets a bit nervous and tells Mike to shoot off the fireworks ten seconds after he approaches her. Ed watches her walk to her door and realizes he can't approach her. He can't ask her to stay because he knows how much she wants to go. That Ed. Dammit all to hell. He may have had a fleeting moment of meanness early on, but dammit, deep down, that lawyer's got a heart of gold. I hop up from my recliner, give my TV a nice hug, brush some popcorn off my seat, and plop back down in the chair to enjoy the thrilling conclusion of Ed.