Carol shows up at the swanky Stuckeyville bistro, ready for her rendezvous with Ed and Bonnie. She spots Bonnie at the bar, approaches her and they do that fake female hug thing that tells the audience, "Wait a second...these two like each other." Wrong. These two get along like Saddam and George Dubya. Don't let a little hug fool you, grasshopper. Carol mentions that she likes Bonnie's necklace. It's...pearly. Bonnie's wearing a pearl necklace. I'd go into detail on why I think the fact that Bonnie's wearing a pearl necklace is so funny, but I've corrupted enough minds over the last several years. God knows if you don't get the humor in that, you're not getting it outta me. Ed walks up just as they are getting past the pearl necklace remark and asks Carol if Molly will be joining them. Carol says no, Molly's at home drowning her sorrows in a bottle of cheap wine, a box of caramel flavored bonbons, and her worn out video copy of Sleepless in Seattle.
Tonight, ladies and gents, Carol has an official date. That's Jeff's cue to walk in and totally screw things up. He immediately starts acting like he and Carol have been dating for months, calling her "hon" and kissing her, acting like a total dweeb. At dinner, he tells a fake story about how he and Carol went shopping for a Mercedes and during a test drive, Carol was so frightened, she was only driving 5 mph down the street. It's really kind of amusing, because Jeff really has no clue about the relationship between Ed and Carol, and thinks that his sole purpose at the table is to make Ed jealous of their "relationship." Carol asks Jeff to come talk to her for a second, so they get up from the table where she explains that he's really making a total ass of himself. Ed mentions to Bonnie that he thinks Carol's dating a grifter. Not a particularly decent grifter, but a grifter nevertheless.
Bonnie has something to tell Ed. A few months ago, she applied for a courtship for an amazing judge, and she got it. He's a federal judge in Washington. Ed's impressed until he realizes that – hey, wait a second -- they're a thousand miles from Washington. The sad news is Bonnie HAS to leave this weekend. "So this is it?" Ed asks. Bonnie is afraid so. Ed asks when she heard about the promotion. Bonnie hesitates and then says, "A month ago." Ouch. So, the entire time she was wrapping Ed around her little finger, she knew she would be leaving town soon. Double ouch. Ed's not impressed with Bonnie's particular brand of skullduggery and it shows on his face. He could have avoided the heartache if she had just been straight up with him. Christ. I'm starting to sound like a Britney Spears song over here.