Ed
Mixed Signals

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Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Catch A Prom Date By The Toe

In a kitchen setting, gay Scott is running around being a little bitch to every employee in sight when Mike shows up. Scott asks Mike if Jerome is allergic to lead-based paint and Mike doesn't know for sure, but would like to know why Scott wants to know. Scott says it's a body-art thing. Mike stops Scott's wandering mind long enough to tell him that Jerome is not interested in any of the ideas that Scott has presented, and in fact has rejected them all. Jerome wants a simple and classy banquet with no flamboyant shenanigans to be had. Scott says no problem. I giggle to myself because this wouldn't be Ed if shit didn't backfire on Mike. So this should be pretty good.

Back in the courtroom, the judge uses a buncha language that nobody other than a lawyer would care to have transcribed here. Basically, Veccio didn't break any laws or rules, since there is no rule stating you can't act like a jerk in public. So the court rules for Veccio, and Ed loses another case. Veccio jumps up and starts doing the Cabbage Patch while saying "Tim-Man, Tim-Man" which must be his first name, I guess. Either that or the guy's a huge closet Tim Allen freak.

Warren walks up to Gavin while Gavin's in his locker and asks who is in the photo taped up in Gavin's locker. Gavin says it's Ayn Rand, and Warren asks if she played Miss Hathaway in The Beverly Hillbillies. Warren tells Gavin, and Mark, who has now rolled up, to kiss his hand since he is their prom king. He's decided to ask Jessica out to the prom. The three of them get as excited as three high-school dorks with high expectations of themselves can get when Donna walks up and asks why are these three so excited. Mark stutters out, "They're making 'Superman' into a movie." Donna asks if that's already been done and Mark spits out, "No." She tells Warren that she'll talk to him later, and he looks like he just got caught having sex with the family pet.

Commercials. Another surprise live event. This time, a guy took a crap and invited his wife into the bathroom to check out the pipe he just laid. SURPRISE!!

In the bedroom of Mike and Nancy, Mike's working on a speech to introduce Dr. Jerome. Nancy is looking hotter than ever before...going with a skank look that really suits her. Mike asks Nancy to listen to the speech, and she agrees. He's written, "Imagine taking a ferocious Doberman Pinscher and starving it for a week. And now imagine rubbing yourself in bacon grease and locking yourself in a closet with that angry, famished half-crazed hell hound. Now you know what it's like to work for Dr. Walter Jerome." Nancy doubts that this is the actual speech and Mike says that it's tough to write a speech praising Jerome when he hates his guts. Nancy asks if he's tried lying. A light bulb goes off over Mike's head and he says that's a great idea. Sometimes I think Mike's as dim as a broken flashlight in a tunnel.

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