Nice Guys Finish Last

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: F | Grade It Now!
Nice Guys Finish Last

Stanley ends his speech with the best way to be a successful writer. Read nothing but good writing and remember it. Then forget where you remember it from. Carol pounds her leg and says, "Damn! Damn! Damn!" because she's never read anything good in her life. Mike walks over to Ed, who's standing at the bar. Mike proposes a toast to Ed, the master negotiator, for getting rid of those mother truckers out on the streets of Stuckeyville. Ed grins and says that nice guys finish last, meaning he had to be a real ass to get the trucks out of there. Carol walks up, and Ed asks if she gave the short story to Stanley. She says she did, and that everything's great between her and Jackass now. She kisses Ed on the cheek, thanks him, and then goes back to cuddle with Jackass. The men watch her walk away as Mike says, "What was it you just said? 'Nice guys finish first'? Somewhere in the middle? Oh, that's right, nice guys finish last." Ed just stares at Carol as she walks away, drowning himself in the pool of irony. As Dennis and Carol laugh and grope each other, Mike and Ed are left standing alone at the bar as the episode ends.

Thank God. Not a moment too soon. The only premise on Ed that's worse than a boring court case is a boring case that never makes it to court. There were only a scant number of humorous moments in this week's show, which is not a good thing -- it's a bad thing. The day Ed has to represent an oil company that's bathing baby ducklings in crude oil at Stuckeyville Pond is the day I fake my own death and never recap this show again.

Consider that a warning, NBC. I'm not playing around. Yabba dabba doo to you, too.

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