Ed
Nice Guys Finish Last

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Nice Guys Finish Last

Commercials. Tommy Davidson is telling me my bitch ass has got to order myself one of these fiiiiiine assed P'zones from Pizza Hut.

Barry Gleep and Ed are in a meeting with the lead counsel of B&B Trucking. Barry's telling the lead counsel that it's very noisy in Stuckeyville now due to the recently increased usage of personal vibrators at the Hudson household. Plus all the trucks aren't helping any, either. The lead counsel says he can't do anything about Molly's problem, but promises that he's doing all he can to correct the truck situation. But altering their routes to go through Stuckeyville has saved the trucking company $120,000 a year. Barry asks if they can perhaps maybe...oh...I dunno...keep them out on the weekends? Ed snaps, "Barry!" and Barry jumps, then quietly assures Ed that he's opening up dialogue, which is something they teach you in Pre-Law 101. The lead counsel doesn't think the company would go for that. Barry asks if maybe they could at least not travel through the town on Sunday mornings? Lead Counsel Guy says he'll take that proposition back to the president of the company, but that he's not making any promises. The guy leaves, and Barry seems victorious in that he got the guy at least to look into ridding Stuckeyville of the neverending barrage of trucks for a few hours on Sunday morning. Ed's a bit peeved that Barry has the spine of an earthworm, so Barry tells Ed to take over the case while Barry suffers a panic attack. Ed tells Barry that he's going to be the one to handle the case, and that from here on out Barry's going to listen to Ed's advice and follow it to a T. The first thing Ed tells him to do is hand over his lunch money. Barry gives him a handful of change, and Ed gives him an Indian burn.

Carol saunters into Jackass's office, where he greets her, "What's up, Spanky?" Carol likes that one better than "Zippy." Carol's been thinking....which Jackass interupts, "I'm NOT reading your story." Carol starts whining about how important it is to her that Jackass read it and share his thoughts with her and that she'll do that one position that he really wants her to do in bed, you know...the one with the feathers coming out of her mouth while her feet are dangling from the ceiling fan. He finally agrees to read her manuscript o' shit, and immediately starts reading it. She freaks, not wanting him to read it while she stands there, so she scurries out of the office. Rather than throwing it in a desk drawer, Jackass actually begins reading it. It's probably the nicest gesture the Jackass has ever thrown her way.

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