Phil walks into Ed's office clutching a giant boombox. "Shave my poodle!" he bellows, then presses "play" and triggers a laugh track. Ed smiles serenely. Phil lets the laughs go for a little while longer, then turns it off and stands at attention. He blathers about "All in the Family," then exits with the same "Shave my poodle!" routine. Tom Cavanaugh stands still, wondering when his paycheck will clear.
Bonnie Hayne gives her closing statements. The people of Stuckeyville decided to pay a dime an hour to park on Grove Street, and fair's fair -- Mr. Schaeffer shouldn't be allowed to act as a lookout. Quite frankly, I agree. It's a friggin' dime. One penny for six minutes. AT&T, eat your heart out, and Stuckeyville drivers -- check your damn couch cushions and suck it up. Ed has a kinder, gentler heart than mine. He notes, "Law enforcement has rules. Do you get a ticket if you speed? Yes. Do you get a ticket if you flash your lights to warn oncoming traffic of a speed trap? No." Ed says it's not illegal -- it's charitable. Violins play. "And in a world where most people are looking out for themselves, do we really want to punish a guy who's just trying to be generous?" He obviously didn't see Dharma get thrown in jail for the same crime -- and she paid quarters. Take that, Schaeffer, you skinflint. The judge wants to sleep on it. Bonnie allows herself a smile.
Nancy comes home and sees a huge sign hanging on the banister from Mike, something he made to congratulate her on the promotion. She smiles sadly. Mike bounds downstairs and hands her a present, wearing an ear-to-ear smile. They scamper into the living room and pop in the tape, and Nancy watches Ed and Mike coax the baby, Sarah, into rolling over for the first time. It's pretty cute, actually, but maybe that's just my maternal side. Nancy starts to cry.
At the Halls of Justice, the judge acknowledges that Schaeffer is charitable but says assisting illegal parking -- by only filling meters when the maids are approaching -- isn't proper. He fines Schaeffer $500 and threatens to double it on the next offense. Ed and Schaeffer shrug and shake hands, and the latter man says he's craving some soup. Shaking his head, Ed watches his client leave, then turns toward Bonnie, who is clearing her table. Smugly, she whips up her head and says she's planning an appeal, because the City of Stuckeyville deserves all its lost funds back. She cocks her head expectantly, and when no reply comes, she sneers slightly and slithers away. "Shave my poodle," Ed says.