Commercials. Yay, capitalism.
Stuckey Bowl. Mr. Schaeffer calls Ed from prison, and Ed runs out angrily to save his client. Phil stops him. "Check this out! It's the Web site: shavemypoodle.com," Phil grins. Really, it's a poodle crudely depicted on an Etch-A-Sketch. "It's Version 1.0!" Phil insists. This is the part where I really wish, for once, they'd get at the "why" of Phil. Crazy subplot characters are more interesting when they occasionally have feelings. Why couldn't Phil have been arrested for feeding meters, or shaving poodles, or feeding poodles with meter-shavings? Give the man a plot.
Ed encounters the police chief, who spouts a throwaway line about being called "Chief" as in, "Hey, supersize it, Chief." Whatever. Banter. Ed owes $100 for Mr. Schaeffer's bail. As he forks over a Discover card, he hears the D.A.'s voice. "What happened? Trouble at the bowling alley?" she asks. "Someone steal one of those scorekeeping pencils?" Hello, Ms. Hayne? Hi! We're the viewers of Ed, and we're pretty sure we know that he's a bowling-alley lawyer. We also know he wins a case or three from time to time. So take your stupid, tired old jokes and insert them back up your behind to coexist with all the other festering boils up there, okay? Thanks! You're the best. Bitchy D.A. explains that Mr. Schaeffer violated court orders by feeding more meters, so she thinks he needs to be taught a lesson in incarceration. Schaeffer walks out to greet them. "They got a PlayStation in the holding cell," he says. Ed drags him away from Ms. Hayne, who smiles and stares. Well, well. Looks like Edward J. Stevens might be getting some Edward J. Booty in the near future.