I'm digging up those Iron-on transfer letters out of my closet tomorrow and having Jen iron the phrase "I Love Phil" on a t-shirt in the morning so I can wear it 24-7 to pledge my love for this comedic genius. Granted, I'll get my share of stares down at the studio. But the disenfranchised will see my t-shirt as a fashion statement and before the end of the week, men will be wearing "I Love Phil" t-shirts on catwalks nationwide. Trust me.
Carol and Nick are in a park. Carol begins to tell Nick the waffle story. Nick stares at her like she was drooling bird shit out her mouth. Nick tries to understand her but it's really hard to understand a woman who's bent out of shape over not being comfortable enough to lob a waffle at your skull.
At school, Molly is standing in the auditorium when Mr. New Hot Teacher walks up and introduces himself to her as Bob. Bob asks Molly if she's ever done this before. Molly says "What? Talk to a man?" Bob chuckles and says no...cast a school play. Molly informs Bob that she was in her high-school play. Bob asks which play. Molly says, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." Bob asks if she played Sally. Molly says no...she played the Great Pumpkin. Bob says, "But the Great Pumpkin is never seen in the play." Molly says, "I know...that's a sore spot with me, Bob."
I laughed loud enough to wake the dead, if the dead were capable of waking. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to get my groove on with Molly too. I know I've dissed her the last few weeks over her weight problem and how fat girls on TV are usually reduced to playing lonely hunchbacks who always settle for being the bridesmaid and never the bride. But I think I might just be developing a crush on the fat cow.
Back in the park, Nick and Carol's fight escalates. Nick claims it's a stupid fight, as most fights over waffles are usually unfairly pegged. Carol says it's not a stupid fight and that Nick never listens to a word she says. I toss a handful of Midol at the TV screen, but as luck would have it, technology has still not come up with a totally interactive television experience to meet my pill-tossing standards.
In a restaurant, Nancy's on a phone while Ed and Mike are goofing off. Ed says he'll give Mike ten dollars if he will only say two words when the waitress comes to take their order: "Burger me." Before Mike has a chance to think of the repercussions of the dare, the waitress is at the table. She takes Nancy's and Ed's orders and then asks Mike for his. Mike hesitates and then says "Burger Me." Ed's grin creeps across his face. The waitress asks "What?" and Mike repeats himself. She then asks, "Are you asking for a hamburger?" Mike, desperately needing the ten dollars, says, "Burger me." The waitress walks away with every intention of coating Mike's burger with oven cleaner while Ed busts a gut laughing.