At the Stuckeyville Soda Shoppe for Wayward Teens, Mark's playing pinball and telling Warren about losing his virginity. MegaMark's pop took him to Nevada to lose it in a brothel. Warren thinks that's the coolest thing imaginable, and MegaMark says that his dad is a kind and generous man. Warren sees Jessica and two of her giggly little cheerleader friends come in, and decides to go talk to them. He asks MegaMark how he looks, and MegaMark says he looks like a mongoose. And he's exactly right. If the life of Warren Cheswick ever hits the silver screen, the only logical choice to play him would be a mongoose. Warren walks up to the gals and asks one of them to scoot over. When she doesn't, but he keeps sitting down anyway, he almost busts his ass, but blames it on the chair. He casually mentions that he's now a varsity athlete and going out for the wrestling team. Jessica gets a whiff of the testosterone Warren's emitting and is somewhat smitten. She asks Warren whether he thinks he'll really make the team, and he says it's a done deal. He brings up the fact that Abe Lincoln used to wrestle. In fact, he'd settle arguments over buffalo hide by throwing down his top hat and yelling, "Ah'll rassle ya fer it!" The girls are not impressed. Diane walks in, sees Warren hanging with the cheerleaders, and about has a conniption. She mouths, "What are you doing?!" to him and he blows her off. Warren's continuing his boring story about Lincoln when a message comes over the house intercom about a phone call for Warren Cheswick. Warren looks over at the hostess stand and Diane's frantically motioning for him to get over there. Warren tells the cheerleaders that it's nothing, and continues talking. A few seconds later, another message comes over the intercom: "Warren Cheswick, your mommy is on the phone." Warren jumps up while the cheerleaders snicker and storms over to the hostess stand. Diane wants to know if Warren has lost his mind, since he clearly shouldn't be talking to Jessica yet. He says that Jessica's "all over him" and asks what is he supposed to do. Diane tells him to make eye contact, nod, and not utter a single syllable. She tells him that she's worked too hard on this experiment to watch him blow it all with his bonehead improv. The next time he decides to go renegade on her, the experiment is over. Warren glumly agrees. At least Warren has the "henpecked" role down pat already, so when he finally does land a woman, he won't have to work at having her run all over him.
Episode Report CardUncle Bob: C- | 373 USERS: C+
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