In the hall, Diane tells Warren that he's screwing up her master plan, and that the class clown is not a true member of the hiearchy of the inner circle of cool people. She reminds him that, in all the movies, the leading man gets the girl, not the wacky sidekick. Warren's senses her motives as jealousy because she didn't think of the idea to turn him into Jim Carrey Jr. first. Diane gets frustrated with the moron and leaves him alone in the hallway.
Mike enters Dr. Jerome's office, where Jerome is reading the latest Andy Rooney anthology. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I read all of Andy Rooney's books as a youngster and consider him to be one of my comedic idols. This may explain my crusty curmudgeon style of writing even though I'm actually only twenty-two years old. Jerome tells Mike that he knows Mike has organized a retirement party for him, and he wants Mike to call it off. He says he's not ready to say goodbye, and that he's decided to postpone his retirement. Mike says it's okay; they'll stick the cake in the freezer. He asks when Jerome plans on retiring -- maybeee...Monday? Jerome says he's not retiring, and that he has several good years still left in him. Mike disagrees, and tells him that he's old; Mike then starts suffering a panic attack. Mike says that Jerome promised him he'd inherit the practice, and that Jerome can't just up and decide to keep working. Mike opens the office door and tells Wendy the receptionist to bring the cake, he needs the cake, serve the cake! Jerome snaps "You control yourself!" at Mike, and Mike flies into a Stuckeyville rage which is a lot like your normal rage, except that it's much more contained, simple, and devoid of any words that may begin with "M.F." Mike tells Jerome that he needs to control himself, and that Mike quits. Jerome looks slightly shocked, and Mike announces it again. He's done with Jerome; he quits. Mike storms out of Jerome's office. Jerome gets on his intercom and tells Wendy not to serve the cake.
Commercials. Rachel and Joey have kinky sex on Friends. In the clip, Rachel asks Joey if he's scared, and Joey says he's "terrified." I'm guessing it's got something to do with rubber hoses, nipple clamps, and starving pit bulls.
At the Stinking Goat, Bob and Ed are waiting on Siringo, who's forty minutes late. They decide that Siringo's a busy guy, and that they should conduct their meeting without him. Ed wants Bob to walk him through the night he met Jo Ann. Bob says he started the evening with a shit, shower, and shave. Ed asks him to fast-forward a couple of hours, because Ed just finished a meatloaf sandwich and is in no mood to hear about a loser taking a dump. So Bob showed up at the Goat and saw Jo Ann. She's his dental hygienist. He'd always thought she was cute, so he walked over to her and asked if he could buy her a drink. She said, "I don't think so, Captain Staples," which made the five or six girls with her crack up laughing. At that point, everyone in the place was craning their necks to see what's so funny, because when five or six dental hygienists start cackling, it sounds like a gaggle of geese being covered in hot tar. Soon everyone in the Goat was laughing at him. Ed chuckles a bit himself and then says, "We just won the case." Ed must have those amazing Miss Cleo-like skills working overtime, because I don't even recall them going to court yet.