Ed
Small Town Guys

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Uncle Bob: A | Grade It Now!
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Small Town Guys

Ed's in his office when Siringo walks in. Siringo apologizes for missing the Hot Steamy Goat meeting, and takes a seat. Ed gets on his intercom and asks Shirley to bring Mr. Siringo....suddenly, Shirley's right there, holding out a corn dog for Siringo. Ed finishes his sentence "...some coffee. Or a corn dog." Ed tells Siringo that he's found a way to win this case. Since Jo Ann rejected Bob in a very public way by playing to a crowd of her friends and the people at the Vomiting Goat, she automatically gave up her First Amendment rights. Siringo says that they're not going to use the privacy arguments. Ed's confused, and Siringo says that yes, they could win with that evidence, but that sometimes winning isn't everything. Siringo doesn't want Ed going "small-town" on him, and says that sometimes the cause is bigger than the man. Siringo's idea is to lose the case. Appeal the case and lose it again. And keep appealing all the way to the Supreme Court, which is the only way it will get the attention it deserves. Which would seemingly be the cover of Losers Monthly magazine. Ed begins to smell what Siringo is cooking. He wants to keep the case tied up in the courts for years because the internet is still young. It's fresh snow, Siringo wants to make tracks in the snow, and with this case, they can do just that. Plus they can even find time to piss in the snow if they want and force each other face-first into the yellow snow while laughing like hyenas. Siringo congratulates Ed and says, "You've stumbled into the big time." Which, as we should all remember, is worlds better than stumbling into a fresh pile of dog doody.

Commercials. Orville Redenbacher's new catch phrase is "Get Orvillized!" Wouldn't that be another word for "dead"? Hasn't Orville been dead for several years now? I can almost understand "Get Reaganized!" which would mean getting so stoned that you forgot where you lived. At least you're still alive when you're Reaganized. I just think it's a bad marketing move on Orville's Opie Taylor-looking son. Eat Dad's popcorn...AND DIE!

Eh. So anyway, Nancy's bringing groceries into the house and yells to Mike that she has bought him a present...Steakumms! Mike steps into the kitchen dressed like Dr. Jerome. All right, I've heard of people and their various kinks in the bedroom, but if you have to dress up like your octogenarian boss to help your wife get her rocks off, that's where I usually draw the line. Nancy jumps when she sees him and says he almost scared the...Steakumms out of her. Mike tells her that he's going to work dressed like this and that he actually spent $12 on the bald cap. He seems quite proud of the bald cap. He's doing a pretty lousy impression of Jerome when Nancy asks him if this is how he wants it to end between him and Jerome. They have been through a lot together, and it just doesn't seem right to end their relationship in a battle of vicious and nasty barbs. Mike tells Nancy that it's wrong to go against family, and that she should be on his side, but she's not budging on this one.

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